The Challenger

Long forgotten pleasure of learning a language

2010-02-09T20:01:00.003+02:00

Its been a while since I have really put myself into the situation of learning a new language. Though I had my english language certification, well, let's put it nicely that I did not die of studying for it (rather the result of years of active practicing :P).

But now at work we did start having arabic classes! And not any more just random stuff, despite the fact that it is mean to help us picking up the "survival" level of language, which I already sort of have/had.
Well, where we are heading is rather elementary and basic, than survival, meaning that it is a way higher level. we have a 20 lesson course and already after the 5th I really need to squeeze my brains into it and pick things up fast...as I said, despite already having some sort of minimal basis.

This was hard at the beginning, but somehow when I got used to studying again, really paying attention, pacing up and down in my room while mumuring words from the vocabulary we took in the last lesson(s)...and I really started to feel happy about it. It is a good challenge which does yield its results! And these are again small pleasures of life!

Like with the last campaign I have launched, finally I did not need a translation of the heading of the ad which I'm supposed to approve! (To the right you can check it out)
I did totally understand what the following heading (the lime lines on top) means:

احكي مع فلسطين ب 9 قروش فقط

(Ehki ma falesteen bi 9 kerusch fakath)

Which means: Talk to Palestine for 9 piasters only

While it is not a very complicated sentence it did feel truly delightful to have no difficulties reading and the translating it!

And then we also started constructing sentences (though we are not writing in arabic...I think I would go nuts from that). I finally can introduce myself in short, but full sentences, actually sharing meaningful information, besides my name (like where do I live, where I'm from, where do I work....) and some random others like my favourite colours.

Anyways, I just felt like sharing this small delight of an internship in Jordan :)

2010, how shall I name you?

2010-01-16T19:36:00.006+02:00

I have been asked a few times what do I want from this upcoming (actually already started) year, and this question by itself was anyways buzzing in the back of my brain.

It is known that this is the usual evaluation period, new year starts, bla-bla....however I do not think this is the real reason for me. I guess rather my visit home made me think deeply on how I have been living my life in Jordan, what am I actually taking out of it.
Not that anyone have really challenged me on this matter, but going home and basically only thinking that I have missed home so much had a decent impact on me. I have never been the super “home-sitting” kind of guy, but it did feel different this time.

While such thinking makes it easier to make choices for the far future (far meaning that what is after this one year). But what struck me is that I have not been thinking of “today”, I have not been up to the challenge to take the best out of the time I have hear in Jordan…and that is not me, I have always been able to turn things around, even sometimes against all odds. Well I guess my good common sense took a break for the last 2 months. Good, or I shall curse myself? Nah, none of them are solutions, so it is better to simply change and do get back on course (what exactly would be the sense of sitting in the corner of my room, bored and being all down because of random, stupid reasons???)

Today even my horoscope (starsign, or whatever it is properly called in English) says that I shall change
Sokat foglalkoztatják a jövő tervei. Nehéz lesz a régi életformától és egy kedves alaktól búcsút venni, de a változás az új élet kezdetét is jelenti. (Your mind is full of the plans for your future. It is going to be hard to say good bye to your old way of life and to say farewell to a person dear to you, but change means the start of a new life)

Though I do not believe in the stars giving me a destiny (I don’t even believe in destiny, haha), but today’s one is pretty accurate with leaving Hungary again for 9 months just a day before and having too much time in the Cairo airport to think :)

So enough of the philosophy, how shall I name 2010? It shall be the year of growing up….
Some might ask if I’m not grown up enough to my age. I think I’m. But I have not been using this advantage, I have not been really taking my life in my hands, and now it is time to do it on an every day level, starting with the smallest habits of what I’m doing when I get back home from work.

And the point of it is to actually accept what I have, who I’m…and to truly appreciate and be ready to go ahead with it.
This is my direction for 2010. While it have been broken down into those usual details I use, I do not want to bore any of you….it is already an unusually philosophical and long post :)

May you also have a meaningful 2010!

(the pictures on the side were taken during my recent visit home)

(Random note: growing yup does not mean that I can not turn that that crazy idiot who sometimes I am :))

Finally - My first above the line project on the run

2009-12-08T16:39:00.004+02:00

So, yes, finally my first large scale Above the Line project launched....and because it is launched I can even write about it (place of free advertisement is always welcome :P).

What it is about? (I guess the arabic advertisement on the right is entirely self explaining for Hungarian/English speakers).
So for the coming days Umniah prepaid subscribers can call any international destination and talk for 50% of the price (after the 5th minute).

What is the point? Did you ever try catching up with family or friends abroad in 1-2 minutes...impossible. So imagine if you could call a friend around (Well, me calling Hungary is not the best example.....but let's say Egypt) and for 400 HUF you could talk for 10-12 minutes...

So it does have a certain sense :) We will see how it works...meanwhile I keep preparing the rest, I just needed to really share the first one :)

The Team

2009-11-09T22:54:00.003+02:00

Just could not stand not posting this picture :)

This is my team at work...at Umniah. Part of the Marketing department, the Core Products division.

We are (or yet rather Tala and Ahmad) behind all the voice based products as owners, whether they are pre or post-paid.

Definitely an interesting job, giving an excellent exposure on all aspects of marketing...so it is being fun and a nice challenge. Hopefully soon I can post more on what I'm doing exactly!

From left to right: Tala Hamarneh, Ahmed Alasker and guess who (the alien on the right).

Our manager though is not on the picture, so the total team is 4 people.

Anyways, just wanted to give a small snapshot from work :)

A week to negotiate :P

2009-10-25T12:16:00.000+03:00

So, I’m writing this post at work, from one of my friends notebook, as my PC over here denies to work for more than 5 minutes in a row (having fun always having it shut down :P)

But anyways, I was not intending to give a full report on my advancements in technology (though I’m learning a good amount working in product development, thus seeing how complicated IT can be :P). My sister asked me to sometimes turn not that very philosophical but to also tell what is happening to me.
While usually not much, I mean nothing unusual, Jordan is not any more the exotic destination, but rather some sort of a second home…so I also live somehow as it would be home. Sometime I go out, sometimes I stay home…nothing like what it feels very special to share.

Until last week! Because obviously there are always surprises and last week a few things what are typically Jordanian just piled up on me. Well, nothing to really worry about, all is sorted and going pretty well, not easy, but cool J
So, what exactly is the line of activities to do – the first round is to be outside of work. Here you go with the list: Residency application pack, Ministry of Interior (Belugyminiszterium), Flat negotiations and deals, Flight ticket for January.

Let’s go step by step. Pack for residency. Usually it is easy, I have been through the process itself, but now of course it is different, as I need to renew it…so no one really have an idea on how to do it, what do you need, etc. So it starts if I need an HIV test…I did it, and then turned out that I do not need it, or I do not need it at least for the ministry part of the procedure. Then the recommendation from AIESEC, for which I needed certain things to be written, in certain format, which for sure turned out only after waiting 4 hours in the Ministry to be sent back home in less than 2 minutes :P

Oh, yes, the ministry itself, lovely place. You only need to wait like 4 hours to get along in the queue, but then it is usually fast to be sent back home to bring a new piece of paper, or change something on another one…always to be told one-by-one, for sure not all points given in one pack :P. So in total I spent 6 hours in the Ministry of Interior. What helped? Well, that is the other typical Jordanian thing. As obviously I do not speak Arabic it is indeed a challenge to communicate with ministry representatives who do not speak a single word in English, despite the fact they deal with foreigners every day for many years of their service. What to do then? The following lessons to be taken care of:
· Do not panic – they don’t really appreciate if they see you nervous….allthough why would you be calm after waiting 3-4 hours, and not understanding a word over what is happening to you :P
· Smile – this truly does open doors!
· Speak 2 sentences in Arabic. Just saying hi and asking how they are in Arabic is totally breaking the ice! They become super helpful, seriously!
· Again don’t panic – coz they will ask or tell you stuff, maybe tell you that you should pay one more visit – just stay smiling, they might end up actually helping you out (this did happen to me by copying my Hungarian national ID – what they do need for the process, though I have certain doubts if they will understand a single word in Hungarian :P)
· And say thank you as many times as something gets along, even it is small Generally pamper them and be nice – so they feel their importance and power – they are like the secretary, who things she is the decision maker…she is not, but she is the gate to the actual situation, if it is blocked, you can complain whatever J
So, cool, one down, now comes the waiting, and on the 2nd of November inshallah I’m going to get an answer – if I get it, then it becomes faster and easier….inshallah of course :D

Then let’s get to the flat situation. Nothing really fancy again, I just wanted to negotiate the rent :P And I did get a discount, not big, but I got J Why is that an achievement from someone who have spent years in partnership negotiations??? Have you ever tried negotiating anything, when it comes down to money!, with basic English and in many cases just relying on body language??? Definite experience! Good advice here – have paper and pens with you, drawing and trying to find out what is on the paper is the best exercise ever, stretches your brains a lot J Back to the stone age almost…but it is a true fun (besides the stress that if it does not work you might get kicked out the next day :P). This one as well is sorted

Flight ticket – good European approach: book online! Aha, as it would be that easy! I book my flight on Royal Jordanian, just to discover when going to pick my ticket up that my flight (no, not the booking!!!) disappeared. Not cancelled, or anything, but simply no sign of it any more in the system, though I booked the day before :P.
Telling me, that there are no flights for the dates what were kind of carved into stone, with other stuff to fix, well, that was not my favorite situation…and honestly I freaked out when they told there are flights only on other dates and for more money (the money is the smallest issue here). So what happened? Again the Jordanian approach – start calling J And forget online crap :P And I did find Egypt Air, on the right dates, for the price what also RJ offered for the new dates…sweet…so I booked on the phone, carefully noting down the dude’s name, who took my booking and then went myself to pick the ticket up, triple checking everything before I actually paid. And yessssss, I have my ticket J Getting back to Hungary for 2 weeks on the 1st of January (prepare for the New Year’s Eve after party!!! I need to recharge my party levels :P)

So, then what really happened? Nothing unusual over here. Just a normal week with a bit of extra stress and finally also solutions to long time pending issues. Which feels pretty good! Totally easing up (though not solving) my mental state I have been writing about in my last post.

Enough of talking, this have become a novel kind of post again :P But now at least writing about actual happenings and not about philosophy :P Comments are welcome!

The missing piece

2009-10-13T16:06:00.001+03:00

Have you ever tried to completet a puzzle (with at least a few hundred pieces) and encounter the situation that it somehow doesn't fall into place?And then in most cases discover that most probably a piece is missing, but there are so many you just do not know which one it is?
Well, I kind of have this feeling :)

Because if I list down what is in my life, you just can not find the gap on this list. I have my place, more or less stable :P, work is great, I kind of also have free time :) and I do spend it (even if I go out a bit less, so that I can go home in January), I have my friends here...etc.The first reaction, coming naturally, is that I'm just missing home and family, which I do...but this is not it.I'm not entirely sure if I would have had the same situation if I would have stayed in Hungary, but I think the answer is yes. Coz thinking through the difference of my life here and how it would be in Hungary, well, not that very significantly different.

My usual approach would be that it must be some detail, what I did not take good care about....but it does not feel like.
And now another discovery, just looking back at this very post...full of "feel" and assumptions, haha, seems like I'm slowly learning to listen to my instinct (or I might just have too much time to think, lol).

Anyways, I didn't mean to go overly philosphical. Just when people ask me how am I doing (and now I'm not talking about the daily random nicesties) I'm stuck on how to respond. Because I'm good and doing really fine - and that is true...but not full heartedly...and it is not bad, I do not mean to express I feel bad...just missing that one piece, which I have no idea what it is :D I will scream when I found the piece :)

End of "deep" post, again I managed to reinvent the wheel and shake the world with my wisdom over myself :P

That one month again

2009-09-23T00:08:00.004+03:00

Recently I was reading back a few of my previous bogposts...finding some interesting titles :)

One of them said: One month notice...well, here I go again. It has been one month since I'm back to Jordan, so here are a few comparisons and reflections.

Last year around the same time I felt much less at ease with my life and my lifestyle than this time. And no, it is not about the fact that I obviously know my way around much better than I did a y

ear ago (around Ramadan I was already more or less on track), I would look for the reasons somewhere else.

Place number 1 being myself and the effect on my personality of the last year and the recent decisions I have made. Decisions of coming back, decision on leaving AIESEC (and its reasons behind).

Story number 2 - my status. Hmm, this might not be clear, but being on a leadership role vs. being a "random" intern (if I'm an intern, at my company I'm handled totally as junior officer - which I'm truly grateful for!).

Even things around me are totally different or what I do with my days.

Good example is the holiday (though am starting to get a bit bored of it....busy life is suited for me much better :P) - and again the point is hidden in the tiny details.

How much do you see me online? When last year everyone was used to see me there, most of

the time working, but even in my free time being stuck on my laptop, watching movies, being online, chatting or anything else. In comparison this year I barely opened my laptop - and I do feel great about it, even if I keep watching movies, though now on TV :P, because it somehow makes me feel that I have a life.

Or the other point of enjoying every minute of cooking or cleaning around the new place I moved to (hopefully settled for a long time in here) - the point is not the cleaning, but that I care about what is around me, I care about the details and I enjoy caring, enjoy the small fragments of life, a phone call, a random gathering, sudden discovery of a good film on TV or a good random chat with anyone I like (and if I'm online).

I know it sounds a bit cheesy, or like "ok, what is this bullshit again....how can you enjoy cleaning

for 3 days???". But despite that sometimes I think this, in general I feel really good about this new ability of being happy about the small things. Makes me balanced, keeps me going and gets me recharged. And this is awesome....coz I know that my usual sense of responsibility or persistence can keep me going - but it is like getting into a new challenge while charging batteries :)

Challenge? Well, not in its usual sense for me as I'm not (yet) collapsing under workload or I'm not learning a totally new field and handling high risk and stress projects....but I do learn a lot. About myself - now that I have time to think and digest (the last few years at least :)) - about marketing and the telecommunication industry, as my job is truly turning out to be an awesome opportunity.

Through my current job I also do learn to appreciate a lot of things which I thought again to be natural. Like that I can keep sensing the market and in the same time handle numbers and statistics; the ability to learn and understand fast (I definitely delivered a decent surprise to my boss on this matter), the sense of clear but diplomatic communication. Natural, right? For anyone still, or right after AIESEC they all seem like usual traits for 'survival', but well, not in the

corporate world where these small things turn out to be real assets and surprises. (I had my first month evaluation with my direct manager - I was surprised how surprised he was :P He needed convincing that I do not have telecommunications background :P)

About place number 1, the decisions and the reason behind them - this is the part what is hard to formulate into a post...or I guess even in a discussion it would be hard to do. One thing I feel now, that I have made the right choices (though fully only time will judge them) and this does make me feel at ease ;)..and I hope later on I can share more than this.

Besides the philosophic stories I did upload a few more pictures from the company Iftar we had. Iftar is meaning 'breakfast' in arabic, but is usually heard like this during Ramadan when it constitutes the first meal - around 7 pm :P. Here usually companies do organize a gathering for their employees in the form of an Iftar during Ramadan, lovely networking and good fun (though I did not win anything on the draw, hehe). It is good to see around 500 people together, being able to connect to people also informally (I was truly waiting for this opportunity) and enjoying a dinner (khmm, breakfast) together :)

Also another Iftar, the last one during the Holy Month, when I cooked together with a few friends. We spend a whole evening together, from shopping to eating, through cooking....and the necessary shisha (or how it is called here: argeeleh). And the good point is that they live like 200 meters from my place :D looking forward to more fun with the Tunisian gang (unfortunately no pictures yet).

Also my kung-fu trainings have started with the boys, and did have my first arabic class (damn, I need to do the homework :P)...and I really enjoy both the trainings and feeling that I do give in conscious effort into my arabic, really looking forward to some improvements :)

And I guess I could point out many small fun stories...stories of normal hangouts, of daily and lively snapshots. But point being here - even now I'm not someone who has nothing happening with him (and I can put this up on the list of small things taking me forward).

P.s.: Do keep kicking me for more regular updates! With less laptop usage comes less attention on this matter, please do not let me become lazy with my blog and personal updates!!!

Strange....or the opposite

2009-09-12T09:35:00.003+03:00

So...I have been for long time delayed with a normal update...so here it comes, already with a controversial title, which actually holds the most important part of the story.

So usually when you go to a foreign country, you should feel very strange...basically for a longer time. But you need to feel alien and have the confusion of not understanding a single thing happening around you.
Well, this is the part which did not exactly happen to me, it was rather re-integration again, seeing things familiar, getting used to some details again.

And honestly speaking, this was one part of feeling strange, I felt the situation strange, coz I did not feel like a total alien. This is most probably just a stupid game of expectations, that when I go back to Hungary you expect to feel home pretty fast, and whatever other country you are in, you do have different expectations.

This is not to say i did not have a down period...actually the first 2 weeks. Getting away from my family, mum, sister and dad...and also leaving friends I feel connected to, was truly not easy. Rather on the opposite, it was way much harder than last time....I mean the first time I left. And then I'm also using now this paragraph to express, that I'm still missing all of them, and I really love them.....and this does not change, rather becomes stronger, with me leaving them again.

So I did have a down period....also that it is Ramadan now, so truly sloooooooooooow. To much freetime at the beginning.

And now comes the part which makes me realize that I'm not a stranger at all here. I still have a lot of 'idle' periods, which is totally normal at this part of the year, with Ramadan.....but things are just filling up :)
I could basically arrange everything what I would need to set up a normal life here. Yeah, am still ahead of moving once more, but then that flat will stay my home at least till the end of next June :P
I also have a bank account...finally :P, Have insurrance, a normal contract, a place to stay.
Also it seems I figured how I'm gonna learn arabic...and have my gym done too :P I will be teaching kung-fu to the brothers of a friend...in return I get my own training in arabic. Lovely, yeah? Looking forward to the first training - tomorrow, yalla :)
Also I do catch up with friends here......and I have time to cook, to just enjoy having a life, it is absolutely re-filling!

So as you can see things are lining up fast, and this is excellent....and why you might get a short response or slow with updates...two reasons :P I either write from work, where I can not really take my time to express that I do feel good :) Or that my mind is just again so full that things come and go....but full with different stuff, of arranging a decent life over here, fun, ya??
(this post also took some time to come alive, I have thoughts of it million times, but when I got the time to sit to the laptop....they were all hiding very well, up to now :D :D)

These cool things are stil weird though...finding my place and other being able to find the right "bracket" for me. Am I an intern, an ex-MC or just a random friend?
But this is also findings its own track now :)

And work, hmmm, excellleeeeent :) After 3 weeks of working my first product idea is already running for multiple approvals...and seems like I could figure something what has never been on this market before :P Hope its gonna work :) How the company finds me? Good question, end of next week I have a first month evaluation with my direct manager (who I must say is an outstanding boss, happy to have a very cool line manager :)), so am gonna get the details of how they feel, and that I also can tell how I feel :P
And it is really great to have work....I mean that it is a constant and important part of my life, but that it is not my entire life. Do not misinterpret me, I would never regret my last years, they made me who I am, but I did and still need this new way of life. And that this lifestyle is charging me up, getting my old energy and drive back, is totally endorsing the decisions now I have made. I must say that although I do miss still many things from my current life, I'm HAPPY and Balanced.....good :P

The weird picture was made on my welcome party over here, at a very nice, but super far place....this party was also part of that feeling I already wrote about with the confusion of "brackets". But it is fine, it is all getting sorted :)

We have also been out to downtown with interns, was just awesome having 8 people from 8 different countries, haha :) People looked a bit weird on this big group of totally mixed foreigners, but I guess this is something I'm getting used to again pretty fast.

Ok, I guess I more or less put down what I wanted....and I will try hard writing more regular updates and posts ;)

There and back again

2009-08-08T18:18:00.004+03:00

So, this is to re-confirm that I'm indeed going back to Jordan, on an internship, hopefully rather on a career....well that one we will see.

But this post came alive, beacuse it is not all that simple! No, no point thinking that I changed my mind, or that I'm not happy with this opportunity....but I few things did hit me, a few things are just running around.

I feel .... excitement ... which everyone thinks is natural.... and fear....which most people can not get why.

If we look deeper into this whole situation, then you discover, such as I did, that it is ain't about just going back or hanging around. It is ain't about who do you miss who do you not miss. And last but not least, this fear is ain't about the choice I made.

Then what it is about? It is about that I made a choice!
Not which option I picked....I am totally sure the same fear would squeeze my stomach if I would stay in Hungary.
It is simply I guess that kind of a change of life I have been talking about in previous posts. And that it is all easy to say, that "yeah, I need to make the next step" - the obvious message what everyone can get, but to take the risk and do make a step. This is what this whole mix of feelings is about. I make the next step...and only time will be able to full judge if I did it right or wrong.

With this fear in my heart it is hard to take the critics and it is hard to say to any one that you are true, or you are false.

But getting back to me being natural, all this what I wrote is right, there is a fear of risk in my throat, but I have always been someone lead by conscious decisions. This is meaning that despite the feeling of I can not be sure of my choice, I made it and I'm committed to it.....and I'm sure of it.

--------

And with all this comes a different line of thought.

I had an intersting conversation with my sister...well, the topic is kind of AIESECy, but could give more if you read between the lines.

This was about whether our interns have talent or not, are they really outstanding individuals or not. Well, quality is always a question, but I think we miss the point.

Whatever great that person is, who decides to go to a basically unkown country, to an almost unknown company for a job described in 5 lines is undoubtedly an outstanding person.

Looking around of people at my age there is one very clear thing distinguishing such people (whether they are AIESEC members or anything else). And this is that they play at their own risk!

Easy to say, to make a choice, easy to say that people will help. Not easy at all. It seems like, because these people make this choice and stand firm to make it happen. Seems they have no doubts, no fears and are affraid of nothing, not even from the unknown.
Some of them more, some of them are less concerned on this matter, but they are the ones who either have less fear, or the ones who do not let themselves to be guided by their fears.
And what is this, if not a remarkable talent of any person possesing this?

The last point for me on the matter is that it is all inside of I guess most people.....but there are only a few who has the guts to use this, and that even if it looks like something small, we all need to start valueing small things in life, as they are the spice of anyones life.

-------

Ok, pretty phylosophical post, never mind :) It was just good to write it all down, so that I don't forget these things....who knows when the thrill of making such a choice will ever come back :D

The End...or a new start

2009-07-17T00:14:00.002+03:00

This video is to kind of sum up my one year in Jordan. Nevertheless this blog is not yet done, I do belive after being home for 10 days, that re-integration is an equally fun part of an international experience, and I also think that it could be of a nice mirror to Hungary.

What comes after? We will see then ;) Enjoy the movie!

Feels like ages

2009-04-15T14:19:00.003+03:00

It feels like ages since I got back from MENAXLDS. Not just because time flies so fast (what a true cliche), but also I think I faced a lot of things I did not beforehand and many things are just happening so rapidly.

It is only one month, actually even less :P And I'm already getting nostalgic on my stay in Egypt, hehe. Though I managed to get some new very cool pictures (thanks Firas :P), just one of them over here to showcase my "Jordanization". (I'm on the right....just to make it easier, lol)

But anyways, I remember the times I first go education on the AIESEC Experience....and that I always thought till now that Heading for The Future is the easiest stage :P Well, not really true....and now I also understand why we mark the start of it with the decision to leave, even when you are still in a current role. It is just a different mindset a different way of life.
It is visible in so simple things. I do have the same amount of work....but after 7 pm my brain just shuts down, I'm just hanging around and slowing down totally, until the point of being almost useless in work related things. Is it good? I don't think this is the right question......do I need to change it? No....then what? I need to change the way I work, how to concentrate, and I also need to figure what to do in that time what is given as extra (given as anyways I can not really use much of it for work, even if I would want to).

Also having this job hunt on me...well, the methods in Jordan are pretty unusual for me, only through network, so I noticed that if I want it to work out here I need to put my learnings from here on a test. If I want to come back to Jordan to work I need to get a job latest till the beginning of June :P. So I have one and a half month.
Even though it is 'just' a job it feels like there is much more behind it, coz I need to forget my old way of life and thinking....not forget what I learnt, but to use it in a different way, as I'm not any more applying for e.g.: VP External Relations, but like corporate account manager and such :P It is like a new continent to be entered, the expedition is pretty well equipped, but that is not enough, you still need to get through the passing, the sea storms and stuff safely and successfully....this is how it feels like :)

Also I'm afraid of going home. Not the reverse cultural shock or these kind of things....though obviously they are part of the game....but rather a new way of life, living again with family, losing a lot from that independence what I value here a lot (with all its benefits of being home it still does not seems like an easy transformation back? process).

My brain is randomly all around, I needed to fix up what I want, how I want it. By now I'm more or less clear...time to put things into action, time to take again a nice deal of risk and jump into something new......

I'm equiped, let's start the expedition :D

Satisfaction

2009-04-06T22:49:00.002+03:00

There is a song called satisfaction, it just popped up in my mind when I tried to search for a 'normal' title for this post. Not really one of my favourites, but it randomly turned up inside.

Anyways it might be a very nice title for this piece of writing, representing all the million thoughts running up and down my brain.

It is midnight over here when am righting the beginning of this post, so my brain is half dead, but still running on this point.

Since coming back from MENAXLDS in Egypt it feels like being in a new era of my life. No, I'm not meaning that the conference changed my life or anything like this, but it did accelarate a few things already in my mind and brought to light a lot of them, so that I could chew on them these recent weeks.

And why is the title? Coz I think the main point what changed is what are the things satisfying me, what are the things am looking for or appreciating in my life.
Many people told me I don't have a balanced life, basically having my work as life. And I did not mind it at that point in time....and I think that time it was the balance. Well, not any more. I want something more in my life then just work....I want the life part of the story as well :P I want something new, some new experience (not saying that my AIESECy life could not bring new every day, but still I need something different).

I have sooo many plans with my non existing free time, it is hard even to list it down. It just started with going to the gym as a normal activity, but extended to be the "it would be sooo nice to do" list which I don't even have the idea when I will be able to reach to the end of it, if that would ever happen (knowing myself this is not a threat that I reach the end of the list :D something new would anyways pop up before :D)

Hard to put it into words this new concept. But I do value more free time, I do value more an honest friendship or a good chat, a nice movie....and I do want something different from my life and my relations which is kind of hard to express (especially in written format).

I know this post ended up to be pretty philosophical and rather (unusually) fluffy from me, but I just thought it is better to write, better to share, that might move things forward....inshallah as here we would say :)

Cairo, pyramids and differences

2009-03-24T16:40:00.006+02:00

So, I want to dedicate this post to 2 major things - a bit of sightseeing in Cairo, and the experience of managing things on my own in this immense city; and the other one is a bit of a cultural insight.
(and the first round of pictures are uploaded to

Cairo...20 million people in one place, if you are fast on the highway it takes 4 hours to get around it. And total craze...I thought traffic is crazy in Jordan, well I feel safe back in Amman after the days of Cairo :P

Everyone talks about the legandary pyramids and they are indeed awesome! But did you know (besides people who have already been there) that the Gizah pyramids are actually part of the city? That it is surrounded on 2 sides by blocks of flat and to check out the sphinx you need to walk max 200 meters from the first fast food restaurant? That was an interesting experience :P
Also the camels....yeah, I finally got to ride a camel, but after this I can barely imagine how people survived full days on their backs....it is super inconvenient. So I shifted to horse, thinking that the horse is led by a dude and I just need to stay on the horse, well I was wrong. 2 minutes after shifting the guy gave me the lead, yeah do it alone (for this you need to know that I have no idea how to ride a horse, the last time I was on a horse was at least 10 years ago, it was a pony and it was led in a circle and I was screaming on top :D). But I managed to survive the experience, by the end I was pretty fine with the directions, well the speed controll was never working (I dunno if my horse or I was more stubborn on what we want :P).

It was also really an experience managing taxis in Cairo. You need to argue and bargain for each and every ride. There are taxi meters, but of course not in use. As foreigners we will usually the ones targeted to be ripped off, with not really high success :) we either always had argumentative people, with or without basic arabic knowledge or someone speaking arabic....usually the first version. But by the end of 3 days in Cairo we all knew the key words: numbers and NO.

But sticking to the sigthseeing: before the conference was the birthday of the Prophet...so we went to see the celebrations. Well, they were scary :) a looot of people just shouting and singing in a language I have no idea about. But this whole march did lead us to a beautiful place in Cairo, Khan Khalili - the market. Every kind of things you can imagine...and you can of course bargain for. I was amazed on the effect of knowing a few really basic things in arabic...prices got halfed in a matter of a second. I had very fast a bunch of other foreigners from the faci team hanging up to come bargain, though I don't think I'm the best in it :D

We have also seen the Mohammad Ali citadel and went to a religious garden (sorry I forgot the name) right above Islamic Cairo/the old city. Well the view was amazing from there and we could here the prayer for basically every corner of the city. And obviously we had like half an hour just for pictures....I felt like a japaneese tourist (or I can say a normal young arab guy put on every possible picture, it is insane how much time people can spend here with pictures).

And about the culture...well many people say that all arab countries are the same (though they usually have the picture of a Gulf country in mind). But it is sooooo not truueee, gosh, I never ever imagined such diversity in a region! Even when we say that Central Europe is diverse, it is nothing to the diversity and variety of MENA. Also the so many different ways of being muslim and still being a good muslim. Nevertheless there are common points everywhere, but I would never ever dare again boxing in this region into "arabs" or "muslims" it is just so surficial and has no value at all behind it. I have been facilitator on this conference, and as someone trying to lead people and pass on messages I can assure anyone who tries making one box out of the region: you will not succeed then. Besides knowing that they are all really different cultures it is also true that people are really proud and sensitive of their identity.

Sensitivity of identity, just something random popped up in my mind writing this line. 15th of March happened during the conference itself. I was never a big fan of national holidays, I always somehow felt they are rather a waste of time. But I was wrong again. I think I have never been that proud to wear the tricolor than this day. Feels interesting reflecting on this point. I was not shouting out loud to everybody, but I was proud to be the only hungarian and I was proud celebrating my national holiday.

I guess it is enough of random insights for today....though I have a lot just popping up in my mind. I though that this conference will not give me that much...but it was the best choice I made before heading for the future. Ok, back to work, yalla :P

MENAXLDS....the afterlife, edition 1

2009-03-22T11:15:00.003+02:00

heeeeeeeeeey :P

Back and alive after MENAXLDS 2009 :) Sitting in Cairo airport, dead tired but in the same time recharged, sounds cool, ya?
As a very fast start up, here you find the introduction of the Faci team, so that you know with who I was working all this week:

MENAXLDS Faci introduction

View more presentations from alejalaiton.

There is a lot to write about, besides the conference I have been tavelling a bit, mostly seeing Cairo (and between Sharm el Sheikh and Cairo feeling like canned meat in a minivan for around 9 hours, yaaay).

As a faci team I truly had the pleasure to work in a team which was committed and reeeallly open. And I think this openness was some sort of a key, we moved forward understanding each others concepts fast, bonded with light speed. A true multicultural team (around 10 countries, 4 continents) as an amazing experience on how you can get the most out from diversity.

Learning and next steps....well, if I'm honest I do confess that I went for a holiday. Even though that many of us know that a conference is not about sleeping, but hard work especially as facilitator, but the change of atmosphere the flow of new things, ideas, meeting new people just makes it at the end a very refreshing journey. Of course I did learn from it and I belive it helped me reinforcing that I am making the right decisions with regards my future.

Pictures are being collected and very soon uploaded ;) Also a bit more structured and concrete post is to come, I just wanted to send the first message of me being alive.

Ehh, just one more fun thing for the Global Village - finally I have experienced the full traditional Jordanian outfit, see the picture just above :) But sooo much more pictures to come :P

MENA, MENA, MENA.....

2009-03-10T18:42:00.002+02:00

I'm in Egypt, just sitting on the pre-meeting of MENAXLDS 2009 :P and this is just to indicate my excitement of how much I look forward to my last international conference as active AIESEC member!!!!

I have already spent one day in Cairo, was indeed amazing and sooo many things happened. I'm excited like a little kid when getting the new bike :P And the Jordan delegation is arriving in less than 2 days, yehaaaa, first delegation as full member country!!! Yalla Jordan!

stories and pictures coming later! (most probably after the 23rd of March, hehe, I guess I will not have any more time to wirte even this short blogpost :D )

Long time....for what?

2009-02-02T11:03:00.003+02:00

It's been a long time since I have posted anything over here (sorry guys :P)

Why? I was not always in the mood (or when I was I did not have my laptop :P) or I just did not have time or did not find anything to write about...but mainly the first reason.

Even though a lot of things were going on. Not neceseraly travelling or something, rather thinking deciding, looking into the future, etc (the usual crap for this part of the year).

Some great news: I'm going to Egypt! From the 10th till most probably the 22nd of March. For MENAXLDS, the biggest regional AIESEC/youth congress :P And as facilitator. It was one of my dreams to be facilitator on a bigger international conference and it is finally working out :) And obviously I'm not just staying for the congress, but hoping to have some sightseeing in Egypt.

And the world is small. I would have never imagined meeting Karuna at MENAXLDS - an Indian friend, with who I worked in Hungary and the next time we meet in Cairo...funny enough, right?

I also made my choice on what is next for me (more or less clear on it). One thing is for sure...I'm gonna work, outside of AIESEC. The Country? Yeah that is still a question mark, though whatever happens in July I will be in Hungary for sure. I was thinking for a while to apply as MCP for Jordan, but I realized that I'm out of "fuel" I wanted a good job and if I want a job, it is time to look elsewhere.

But if we are already at the job part...work is just simply crazy. Deadline after deadline (and the question is where I will reach my dead-line....can't wait to be in Egypt!). And I usually tell myself that the next period will be easier, and somehow it never happens :P I know I should not complain, I achieve and I do like my job, but somehow it is not the same, it is not enough any more (am I becoming more demanding, or it is just another sign for the need to change?)

And I wanted also now to write about so many things. My Christmas (the let's say not really existing one), about the Gaza conflict and how I lived it through here and about many other random topics - like I signed up for gym, which I never thought I will ever do - , but somehow at 10:30 pm they ran away :P

Nevertheless, the point of the post is to show you I'm still alive and moving :D Have a good day all of you!

Adventures...Edition 2 - Wadi Rum, Aqaba

2008-12-13T10:10:00.007+02:00

So the next day of the trip....starting with waking up at 5:30 am, just to be able to catch the one and only bus to Wadi Rum.

What do you need to know about Wadi Rum? If you have ever heard about Lawrence of Arabia, or have watched the movie the name must be familiar, as Wadi Rum has been his "headquarters" during the Great Arab Revolt (1917). But this is not the most important about it. The pictures can not really give it back how beautiful the view is (it seems like a lot of sand, but what is so nice on sand? :P ). It is again you have to see to understand....Sand, rocks and magnificent mountains.
The hard thing is to believe that people lived and still do live in that area...the usual question is that from where the heck they get water :P

But let's list all the adventures:
Getting there - it was not that huge advanture besides a few things. The bus left from the hotel at 6:20, our hotel is only one stop. I ordered five tickets, the bus driver remembered 4, but never mind, we did manage very easily this part (one more person paying the ticket...so no points of debate). But getting to the bus was funny, as the gate of the hotel was locked, and noone was at the reception. So we search and found someone sleeping in a hidden corner "guarding" the hotel reception, but he did not have the key, only knew where the dude with the key is sleeping - so one round of running as the bus was already there for us. But this was also sorted, we left Wadi Musa (Petra) without any remarkable story.
Then in the middle of the way the bus stopped, everybody waking up on what is going on??? We have been stopped by the police, our driver almost ended up in jail for a week, coz instead of 80 km/h he was speeding with 120 and the bus was also overloaded. How did it end? With a ticket to the bus driver worth 60 JD (around 70 Euros). Dude coming back swearing, and starting to tell us about his 'heroic' fight with the police, that he was already locked, when he managed to negotiate (like the hero being on the corner of death, but escaping with an inch :P ).

But we did arrive to the visitors' center in Wadi Rum. We wanted to get to the village, but they told us that we can go only if we buy a tour for a hillarious price. We did buy a tour, but for half the price :P

So we bought a jeep tour for 3 hours. As we were 5 of us it was not epensive, so we thought, it is all ok.
It was ok....but....our jeep broke down in the middle of the desert. In the middle of nowhere getting stuck with the only working vehicle....fun :P though it was not that bad, as we were at a tent, with a few beduins, consulting over the dead car like in a medical consilium :P And one of them even had a super weak, but operational signal on the mobile, so they managed to call another jeep for us from a top of the one dune the phone was working (I don't want to know what we would do if we break down only a kilometer deeper in the desert :P ).
Our new driver was then indeed amazing! I felt like in a rally in the desert on the top of an open plato jeep!!!! We were racing, loud music (Papi Chulo like 15 times :P) from the driver cabin and racing on the dunes...super awesoooome :D. I guess the guy was not used to young people enjoying the situation, but we really had great fun. Of course we stopped for a bit of climbing or to check out the house of Lawrence (or rather what was left from it) and sometimes also for a beduin tea (yummeee). And our 3 our trip ended up to be a 5 hour one :P
Poor Eyad who came from Aqaba to pick us up needed to wait for us because of our sudden compensation for the dead car :P He was sweet coming and picking us up from Wadi Rum to take us to Aqaba.

So we did go to Aqaba. There is not that much to see in this town, the only port of Jordan to the Red Sea. It is a holiday zone (duty and ta free, so I got winter coat, muhaha), so it is really great as the end of the trip for relaxing. I rather mention some pleasure moments in points, just to give back the feeling:

Having beer in the sunset of the sea, at the shore of a 5 star hotel where we sneaked in :P
Having breakfast of hummus and fool for 2,5 JD, at 11 o'clock in T-shirt looking at the sea
Having a fast swim and sun bathing on the public beach - on the 11th of December
Feeling like in the zoo, coz we were the only foreigners on the public beach (most foreigners have their hotels with private beaches :P, we are rather adventurous people than rich :P)
Walking around in the city, searching for the shade of palm trees in short and T-shirt (again, it is still december :P )

I still need to get the pictures from Aqaba are not yet uploaded, those are coming soon, also some additions to Petra pictures to be epected!

The end of the story....getting back to Amman, arriving by 11 pm, closing with another adventure.
What? Oh yeah, after 11 pm in Amman taxis are not using taxi meters. So we got into the cab started to go on the way. Then we realized the meter is not working....awesome, so we asked the dude to switch it on, answer is obviously no. Ok, then how much? 4 Dinars (the normal fair would be 1.8, but of course there is not hope to get that). But we learnt from our 2 days earlier experience and ended up paying 2,5 JD.....which is barely a bit more than the usual fair. We are foreigners, but learning fast :P

I guess you can see from all these stories that it is worth coming to Jordan, seeing a bit of it and enjoying your time (especially that you would have a guide who is already experienced in the Jordanian way of taxi 'management' :P ). These 3 days were amazing...and really needed in the same time. My brain is totally refreshed, I can approach my challenges with a fresh, again solution oriented, approach. My energies are back...though I almost wrote that the old Szaki is back, but that is not true, this country changed me, I like the changes I feel and I already know that I will feel really alien when I go back to Hungary.

It is also the time when I start thinking on the next steps, outside of AIESEC. I give myself till the end of January to see if I can fit into Jordan and line up my options and chances. Then it is time to decide which country will see me in the next 1-2 years as an employee :D But this is a story for later on ;)

Adventures...Edition 1

2008-12-12T19:27:00.002+02:00

So, let's get started with the story of travels during Eid al Adha (nice looong holiday :P)
I think I'm gonna make it into more posts, it has been three intense and amazing days, a lot happened, so I try having things in pieces.

The outline of these three days: Petra, Wadi Rum and Aqaba....Ruins of an ancient, magnificent city, then stunning view of the desert and feeling a kind of sidewind how powerful it could be, and at the end going back to the summer in the middle of december! I guess it shows that things did happen and it was extremely fun!

So startup - planning. As I already mentioned in the previous post promises we had, which did not come through...but Lonely Planet guide is always there to help us :P So we started reading, figuring out how to get there where to sleep, and had a bit of Jordanian kind of 'we will sort it out on the way' approach (like how we get to Wadi Rum, where we sleep in Aqaba, how we get back to Amman from there). We had idea about everything, but we did not fix too many things...just the destinations.

Though we easily managed to book accomodation in Petra, a pretty ok one, for good price, yeah, it was not luxury, but had beds and was clean enough. We also figure out that there is a south bus station from where there are usually minibuses to Petra. So we went there early in the morning, but has been told by lovely tai drivers that there are no buses during Eid. This very soon (but too late to change decision) turned out to be a lie, as the whole way we followed the bus to Petra :P Also we had the fun of fifteen turning out to be fifty, so we gave each other good lectures: english and bargaining....for them english, for me bargaining. (result: already on the way back when we arrived with the bus we managed to significantly decrease our late night tai costs :P). Of course I was really upset at the beginning, not becuase of paying more, coz it was still a totally ok, but the principle and that we have been fooled, simply becuase we were all foreigners. But it was gone very fast, I learned what needed to be learned from it, and then left the topic.

So we arrived to Petra - or rather Wadi Musa, found our hotel, turning out to be pretty ok. Then immediately embarked on the trip to Petra, the Rose City, one of the new seven wonders of the world! And it is indeed wonderful!!!

The city is carved into the stones, the whole area is full with artificial caves, tombs and magnificent cathedrals in the mountain itself. And it is not how most people would imagine, 2 hills and that's it, but it is magnificent! Truly you can see the marks of a full city, you can easily imagine how it could have looked like, and I would have loved to rowk in that city, so protected, so nice....and a city which has played strategic role in the region when it was existing and really alive. And the treasury, the simbol of the city...well nice, but I don't think that is the best part of it, but really to feel and see, that it was a city!
So indeed, Petra is something really worth visiting! And spending really a full day there, it is just simply beautiful! And with a bit of imagination you can really make a lot out of it....imagining how a usual day could have look like a few thousand years ago.
But this was again a trip which has not that much to talk about, Petra is something to see and experience :P

After the long walks and rock climbing we went for dinner, and managed to find a cool restaurant, giving fried chicken in a nice amount, enough even for me :P So the first day of travel was ending really well, we were, I mean 5 of us, ready for the next day (about what I'm gonna write tomorrow....sounds like a movie series, right :P ? )

Commitment

2008-12-12T18:12:00.005+02:00

The post about the culture....and probably my biggest shock, I could just start handling. I was also looking for the most appropriate title, and I found that the key of the whole story is commitment. I will soon give the explanation why.

What made me realize that I'm dealing with cultural and not personal problem was a Global Village. Currently in the same building we are 9 foreigners in 2 flats, covering all the continents (except south pole :P
So we organized last Thursday a cultural night. Everybody was preparing for two days, cooking traditional food (paprikáskrumpli rocks :P ), making presentations, downloading videos and some of us even visiting the embassy for some brochures. So we all really put energy into it.
What shocked me is that how 'welcoming' the situation was and now I'm being bitterly sarcastic. I have never seen Global Villages where people made fun of any presentation, saying that there is not much unique in the country (yeah, it was not Hungary that time, what is clearly different than Jordan, but still). But for all presentation, getting people's attention, not to chat and laugh out loud, why you are trying to introduce your country.
Being a patriot was kind of far from me. But here I did realize I do love my country. Here people are proud of being Jordanian....there is no problem with that, rather it is something I do think many Hungarians can learn from them. But being a guest or being a foreigner living in the country it is something very different. These people here are very sensitive to what is happening with them, internally, causes effecting them from the outside....but sensitivity towards how they effect what is in people who are not 'their kind' is a different issue. Yeah, indeed I am the one, we are the ones (all foreigners here) who should be adapting. This is why we are all here, this is what we aim for. But we all do require a minimum level of respect.....and this is something that Jordanians, the locals here need to learn....that even if they are proud, others are also sensitive (even if not as much) to protect their home (whether it is family, country, or just a corner).
This was one of my points (oh, yeah, and again I gave a harsh voice to this opinion, which I will get back, but I don't mind.....I know that I need to learn a lot, but not I am the only one;) ). This was one point, but I would rather say this is the top of the cake...this alone would make me feel bad for an hour that it ould have been gone.

Commitment....the key to my issue. My comitment? Not really... Other's comitment? Closer to reality.... The contrast between these two? That is the real point!
I'm just coming out from a situation which required comitment to the end. Also I'm not really someone who is giving comitment than withdrawing...if it is given, then it is given....and like here, what is normal. It is again something not good or bad....not like the previous point I wrote about (that one I do judge), but this one, is just a conflict of my values and something different. I do think it can be done in a different way and a small change of attitude would lift the middle east to high grounds they don't have know, but I am noone to judge their choice.
But here if you just don't show up for a meeting that is not a problem, if you promise something and don't do it or cancel in the last minute...no problem.

I do think that this value, the lack of commitment is in the very core of the culture, coz it does explain a lot! Like business culture: Why people doublecheck everything? Why you need to have proven results in business, that you deliver what you promised? Why family is the most important? Why everything is happening through people you know and only through them?
I have wrote about relationship orientation, importance of family and networking....yeah, it is all true, but what forces it? What is not allowing such basics to change or even to get weaker? What is in the core?
I think here the right question - is standing as an answer for everything I just pulled up - is: How would you trust anyone in a country where noone takes comitment for anything?

The best examples just from the close future: I have been hearing for like 3 weeks, that we will have a trip organized for the holiday.....and then having nothing when it starts! (So finally we did it ourselves, with some funny and adventurous mistakes - for what we heard back: you should always have a local with you - a statement which makes me laugh now). Or the mistake we made is that we tried agreeing with taxi drivers (who by the way simply lied that there are no buses working during the holiday) to take us to Petra....and saying fifteen JD as a cost per taxi, then when we arrived they still said fifteen, with the extra that in arabic fifteen means 50 (the debate was kind of harsh, but also made me realize that I can be much more daring in bargaining and 'negotiating' than I thought.) - adding to the situation that I know the numbers in arabic, so they could not even say that I had no chance understanding if they would have told their offer in Arabic :P.
These examples are just to very fast prove my theory - this is why people save phone numbers of taxi drivers they like for example. But besides these examples I would be able to pull up million from daily life: from taxi drivers trying to fool you or companies asking you for one million proof of delivery, meetings getting cancelled with no real reasons, etc.
Again I must say, it is not bad....but you have to know your way in this country (as in any other) to survive. And until I did not really figure this point I could not totally make my way here...and it made me angry, made me feel useless, made me feel fooled and betrayed all the time.
But now it is gone. I know why it works like this, and this makes it super easy to understand how it reall works and how I can work my way through. Like it is cool to be a better networker...I indeed improved, but now I see true purpose, a meaning behind it! That is the feeling which makes me feel good after all the crap happening and after all the time feeling down.

I wanted cultural experience - I got it! And so far I was questioning that do I really know so much more about the middle east and Jordan than others, do I really know enough to say I worked in this environment, I know how it works and in a job I can build on it or I can work with the middle east. So far it was a doubt, coz this is undoubtedly one of the most important learnings from an internship or an MC abroad---- it was a doubt, but not any more! I think again an exciting time is coming, when I can really learn to be successfull here! Yalla, time to succeed!

It's been a long time

2008-12-12T17:39:00.002+02:00

It's been a long time since I did not write .... nothing happened to write about, then a lot of things happened.

Most things are sorted now. I needed money...I got finally. I needed stability - better now than not knowing what the next week is going to bring - at least our bank account is open. I needed rest - I had and finally not just sleeping, but going around the country, so finally I can say I have seen a bit from Jordan.

It's been a long time....what I have spent in Jordan. On the 1st of December it has been half a year I am in the country, since I am living here. Also the 15th of December will mark the middle of my AIESEC work here (though not the middle of my official term, but I am here for AIESEC from the beginning). Eid, Christmas and winter makes Jordan feel different, different than what I have first seen.

Also there have been some cultural aspects which turned out to be hard to handle, at least for me. There were periods, when I have been just angry, feeling useless and being angry at people, but not really knowing how to handle it.....maybe the problem was that I did not want to handle it, I was just tired of handling things and was stuck with the most critical points to deal with at the moment and had no desire of thinking about anything else. But this is also gone.

A bit of adventure, making you get out from a routine which have drained you, helps not just to relax, but to change perspective on a lot of things. It is not just about what exactly is happening, but also about how 'problems' are approached.

This whole few lines might sound misty and probably raises a lot of questions, like "What the heck you mean?"....will all turn out soon, this is an opening post, there are more to come! The first one about the cultural story, and other(s) about travels I had (finally, yupeeeeee :P) So wait for more, I'm in the process of writing all of them, should all be coming soon (haha, sounds like the new holywood movie :P )

By the way pictures are uploaded (80%) to Picasa, you can check them out (for people not checking the sidebar of my blog, the link is the following: www.google.picasaweb.com/akos.szakaly

Bajban ismerszik meg a barát/család….

2008-11-15T12:49:00.000+02:00

Sorry, Hungarian post…not because I want to exclude anybody, just because I’m bored of English, missing my own native language and thoughts are coming to me in Hungarian right now :P – if you are still curious just grab me online once.

Bajban ismerszik meg a barát….járja a jó magyar közmondás. Mindenki bólogat rendesen, persze-persze, hiszen csak az igaz barát áll melletted, ha bajban vagy. Ha bajban vagy, ha épp rossz jegyet kapsz, nem megy a házi feladat, szerelmi bánatod van…..khm, hibaüzenet a képernyőn, hibás definíciós fájl.

Hol is a hiba? Asszem ott, hogy mi is a baj, mi is a barát és ott, hogy miben látod meg, hogy ki is igazán a családod, a barátod.

Nah, akkor tegyük is a programot újra a rendszerbe. Mi is a baj? Hát nem a házi feladat vagy a szerelmi bánat. Najó, nem mondom, hogy ezek nem lehetnek rosszak, de egyik sem az a fajta baj, ami igazán próbára tesz egy kapcsolatot, ami igazán mérlegre teszi az embert. Definíció? Nem általánosítok, ismerem a saját bajom, kinek hasonló, kinek más, leírás egy Blog bejegyzéssel lejjebb.

Ki is a barát? Aki pénzt ad ha nincsen? Mondjuk igen, de valahogy nem ez a lényeg….a (talán túlzott) büszkeségem miatt eddig nem jutottam el (és remélem nem is fogok, és a helyzet sem úgy áll most már, hogy el kéne jutnom idáig). Talán úgy lehet, definiálni, hogy aki őszintén aggódik és figyel rád….és nem csak aggódik, de tesz is.
Tesz azzal, hogy végighallgat, mert mást nem tehet, de akkor ott van neked, tesz azzal, hogy felhív, hogy ne legyél már hülye és kérjél segítséget. Tesz azzal, hogy felajánlja a zsebpénzét. Vagy csak elkap bármikor, mikor online vagy és épp ott talál, vagy e-mailben rugdos és képes ezt úgy tenni, hogy lelket önt beléd. Vagy azzal, hogy nem beszéltetek már X ideje, de hirtelen előbukkan a semmiből és rájössz, hogy végig figyelt, de most tartotta érdemesnek beszélni. Akár azzal is, hogy mikor épp pénze van, akkor kiragad otthonról, hogy ne unatkozz, hogy egy kicsit feldobja a hangulatodat (nem is olyan kicsit) – pedig ő is ugyanazt a szitut éli át, bár lightos változatban (éljenek a team társak, akik itthon vannak :P), vagy mikor látja, hogy mizu van, akkor másnap beállít 3 kiló banánnal.

Az is kiderül ilyenkor, hogy mi is a család. Vérbeli kötelék? Újabb program hiba, szép kék képernyő :P Vérben egy, de azt sem tudja, hogy mi van, hogy hol vagyok…..ha valamit nem teszek a hagyományoknak megfelelően megsértődik. Eddig idegesített ez a szitu, már nem érdekel, mert számít is valójában? Lehetek keserű miatta, de megéri-e? Vagy van egyáltalán miért keseregnem, ha mindaz megtörténik, amit épp csak egy bekezdéssel előbb írtam?

De nem is ez a lényeg. Néhányan azt mondják, hogy botorság volt kimennem, még nagyobb ökörség volt kint maradnom még most is. Biztos???? Nézzük csak meg ezt a majdnem egy oldalt feljebb….hmm, tudnám-e mindezt enélkül? Nem.
És most lehet mondani, hogy ez nagyon szép idealizmus. Igaz, van benne jó adag, és valószínűleg nem írogatnék ilyen dolgokat, ha nem tudnám, hogy a megoldás karnyújtásnyira van. Mert ott van és ezt most nem (csak) az optimizmusom mondja. Mert már csak egy utolsó lépés kell (és végre nem kormányzati szerv, hanem egy bank :P – nem is értem, hogy ezek után miért a vállalati szektorban akarok dolgozni, hehe. És egy aláírás….ami a sajátunk – nem az enyém, hanem az elnökömé, de még akkor is kicsit nagyobb a kontroll a szitu felett J). A következő bejegyzésem arról kell hogy szóljon, inshallah (a pozitív, a „biztos hogy megtörténik” verzió, de a „nem iszom előre a medve bőrére” kategória…..avagy annál kicsit jobban megnyúzott a szitu semmint, hogy bármit biztosra vegyek, ami nincs a kezemben).

Szóval történnek a dolgok, mert történniük kell. Bár kicsit félek, hogy elfáradtam (ugyan hamarosan itt vagy egy hét szünet :P)….mert azt azért érzem, hogy ez mind annál több volt, minthogy csak átlépjen az ember felette. Mit tanultam? Egy jó adagot leírtam az előbb….a teljes értékelés majd ha tényleg vége J

És ez a bejegyzés azoknak szól elsősorban, akiket megemlítettem benne. Név nélkül, mert ők úgyis tudják, hogy róluk szól….meg arról, amit nekik köszönhetek, és köszönök is….hogy ők a családom (anyu, hugi és apu), a barátaim!

Talán filozofikus lettem most…és talán közhelyes. Ha igen, hát legyen, nem hiszem, hogy ezt nem publikusan kéne megosztani, nem hiszem, hogy el kéne rejtenem, hogy vannak olyan emberek, akik fontosak nekem, hogy vannak emberek, akiknek én vagyok fontos. Jó érzést ezt tudni, jó érzés ezt leírni és jó érzés az is, hogy most már mások is tudni fogják!

Risk, culture…..endurance?

2008-11-08T13:33:00.001+02:00

Prepare, a (very) long post J

Looking back on the last few weeks, especially this one I must say that there are two things testing me: handling risk and pressure, and handling the issues with being in a cross cultural role…..besides the usual question what is always popping up: Can I endure? Can I manage?

The answer for the question is, I still believe, yes. Even though, especially this week, I thought already a few times about the what if…and being honest 1,5 days of being unable to do my job properly (I guess people who worked with me know that it is a critical indicator, as I do my obligations even if I die carrying them out).

Also the obvious question was popping up: is there a limit….for I will I thought yes. For a while I thought that next week I’m packing and going home (sorry for shocking anybody, time to face). But I’m not going….and I still did not see the limit. It is being a critical period, my decision to stay is probably the highest risk I have ever taken in my life, and now we are not talking about job, or can I adopt…the risk is if I can make a living, maslow 1, if I can survive.

The very honest situation is that altogether I guess I got maximum 1,5 months of salary in the course of 5 months. Might be scary to hear….or someone might not agree that I’m writing it so publicly. Our bank account is not accessible, due to an audit which required to re-book a whole year, and due to a very slow procedure with governmental entities. I almost reached breaking point….almost J

My other funny story is the culture. Naturally I understand much more about the Jordanian culture, I can adapt much more, but my decision when I told that a cross cultural leadership role is different than just working somewhere else was right. I’m kind of facing a next round of cultural shocks. This is added up by the situation described above.

What is the problem? I think my way of handling my stress, so that I was mismanaging things with people. I could not see results on the critical area of the bank account, so I wanted results in all other areas….pushed hard, fought hard. Ending up my usual defense methodology: best defense is to charge. Adding up to be seen sometimes talking from the top, judging fast, being harsh, gaining power and control over things. Yeah, my usual way of handling stress and risk…which I thought I already learnt to eliminate (and I did…..just have never faced risk on this level J). All this attitude is exploding like a bomb and fires back in a culture, what is (overly –even for my level of affection) sensitive, totally built on personal relationships…and my competitive, very result oriented approach is kind of new (‘kind of’ is meaning I’m rather someone from the moon with this here :P). But this approach I don’t want to change, channel it or communicate it in a different way for sure, but next to my persistence these two features were making me manage things, making me excel in situations.

I was always saying there are ways to manage. Again we figured out ways to manage the situation. Even if we feel that the ministry procedure ends very soon, we have our plan for the what if not, to sort it out. I’m still not saying the situation is easier. But it is manageable and once it gets solved.

Besides this I’m very proud of what we are achieving, just to give you a snapshot in a few points of what the DA MC is about to do:

We are in the doorstep of signing the biggest partnership in the history of AIESEC Jordan (the value is half of an annual operating budget
In negotiation for another bigger scale annual partnership (fourth of the annual budget)
We as MC are about to raise 10+ internships
LC Amman running induction with 40 EP applicants, LC Irbid with 1 week of promotion collecting 20+ applications
Brand audit with 150 surveys already collected
An event coming up under the patronage of Her Majesty The Queen
Competition running with AIESEC Vietnam to claim the title of the strongest expansion in the global network

I guess these things are speaking. Even in our life or death situation with the MC we are rolling. And we keep on rolling. And we all keep on moving…..and everything will be sorted. And probably we will become tougher then we would have ever thought :P

Weather report

2008-11-02T22:14:00.002+02:00

So there is there are a lot of proverbs around what is impossible, what is not. The next proof for me about the point that impossible is only a barrier of mindset came the end of last week.

I still remember the summer in Jordan...35-40 degrees in Celsius, and everyone becoming pretty enthusiastic when we had a single cloud (this white nothing type of cloud) on the sky.
Based on this I was not surprised that people were super happy about seeing rain. Rain what I barely noticed or recognized as rain. And I was not surprised that this is rain here, though not really showing high passion in joining the guys here to be happy about 'rain'.

But obviously I was mistaken, winter and the 'wet' season is coming. A few days ago we had rain....real one, which would scare a bit anyone and make people think, that they are lucky not to be outside. I was lucky enough, just got the beginning of it outside, so I could watch the 'drama' from the flat (I would not say warm flat, as there is not heating....or there is, but would cost me an annual salary to use it :P ). I also shot a few videos, which I piled up into one short clip, to make you see from my window, that I'm not joking :P

Also the temprature is changing pretty rapidly. Again based on the summer you could never think that it can turn cold...but it does, already during the nights the temprature sometimes lower than 10 degrees. I know at home they would say, that yeah, that is normal...but we had a summer when sometimes at night we had 28-29 Celsius! From that experience you would not expect it to happen.
And it is not complaining, there is not point in that....just wanted to give you a snapshot of the interesting weather conditions of Jordan :D

Finally! The breeze of competition...yalla!

2008-10-26T21:40:00.003+03:00

Jordan is told to be a not really competitive country....and it is true (yeah, with my super competitive approach I was kind of struggling). But finally we have found challenge worth risking it! And hoping that whole AIESEC Jordan will join up!

Yeah, we are competing for the title of being THE STRONGEST EXPANSION in the whole GLOBAL AIESEC Network!!!! Muhahaha, something really worth running for! (well, you kind of already won if from 20-25 expansion countries you are far in the top 2 :P - but being the ONE, second to none....kind of appealing prize for me at least). And to see how much we take the challenge, here comes our message to Vietnam!!!

You think you are tigers, but you have seen us yet!!!

Tic - Tac

2008-10-14T20:53:00.004+03:00

Tic-Tac....time is passing by without any notice. And also a long time passed since my last post.

A few important points were kind of missing from the flow of information from my side. For example my usual monthly notice...as it is already 4 months since I'm here in Jordan, tic-tac...

And also the last week was a crazy one. I was chatting with my sister and not being able to tell a lot, but then I just sat down and slowly memories came to my mind, reminding me that I do, did and will miss opportunities to tell my stories, so better to write down until I remember :P

So one thing, hard not to remember is that I moved from my old flat...from the cave as I called it. From a dark, at the end of the world flat with instable internet I moved to a flat what is full with light, a bit more noisy though, but with own internet, normal water and right next to university, meaning a looot of life, we always have someone over here, making it more like a center of life, with the privacy of an own room....so all in all I pretty much like it :)

The other kind of happening is that we had a radio interview, live on last Saturday, for a whole hour! The first radio streaming of AIESEC Jordan, yaaay. And also this was the result of an other appearance what we had in a major newspaper, that's how we were 'found'. And it is just the beginning, soon will be followed by a TV interview, also live :S That makes me though a bit worried, I'm used to interviews by now, but not really to life TV broadcasting for an hour, well, then this is time for it :)

So time is moving....this weekend we go for hiking with the team to Dana reserve. It is a natural reserve (nemzeti park :P)...meaning some sort of nice desert :) At least we are moving out a bit of Amman, which I was missing in the last few month. And I'm just hoping that soon all of our pretty problematic issues will get solved.

With work it seems we are moving quite ok....finally things look like moving out from a halt, the country is coming back online after Ramadan and Eid (I need to point out that it took 1,5 weeks...not mentioning the one month of Ramadan plus almost a week of Eid). But at least now it is moving, it is a good feeling. Also I'm working on the official blog of AIESEC Jordan (you can find it here: http://jordanaiesec.blogspot.com) I had a nice practice before on this blog :P But still it proved to be a challenge for half a day :)

Also an interesting piece of news is that the Hungarian President is visiting Jordan for a few days to "discuss bilateral ties between the two countries". Still it is something related to home, was nice to read, though I'm pretty much curious how this whole bilateral thingie will materialize. Anyways a few weeks ago I realized on a pack of mirelite vegetables that it was imported from Hungary...just a funny moment, I truly enjoyed. Here you can read about it (not the mirelite vegetables :P)
http://www.jordantimes.com/?news=11315

So these are the few things, just going on, time is ticking away, since the last post....someone might remind me of things I'm missing out :P

Eid Mubarak....or the end of Ramadan

2008-09-30T18:09:00.006+03:00

The feeling of accomplishment, kind of pride and relief....the mixture of feelings in me about the end of the holy month of Ramadan.

I did it, I did fast till the very end, without breaking it for even a single time. From having it very hard, through the feelings of enjoying and getting it as usually, till the last very boring days (when everybody was just waiting for the end of the month) I did it. And I don't regret I took this choice.

I had the opportunity to see people here differently and to live something with them what is very much only them and very much not understood in the western world. Also I think I had the opportunity to better understand the Christian Easter and the meaning of resurrection. (Do you know how does it feel to have a normal breakfast in normal breakfast time after a month of not seeing food at daylight??? - This is resurrection :P) And also that if I could manage to do everything I wanted during this months, then what I'm really capable of doing on a normal month? And when I feel that even the first half normal nightsleep (and only 6 hours) how much energy it gave, you kinda get the feeling of "being back online".

Pretty hard to compile the experience of Ramadan into a few lines, so I just want to highlight one point concerning this month: we do not understand it! Before coming here I also studied about Islam, kind of had an idea of what Ramadan means...officially. And also had the impression of having the Arab world dead and that is it.

It is true they are dead, not many things are working....and I'm not saying it should be like that, but how the hell does Europe judge it so harshly when most people does not even know when it is? (I also did not know before). This is some sort of eye opening thing of how many topics we have no idea about, but we judge it in a very determined way.

Now I kind of also understand why it hurts muslims that much the Dannish cartoons about prophet Mohammed. Why you make fun of something what the society does not understand, or rather has no real information about besides the media (khmm, European media).

This idea can be generalized to many things, not just Islam. Many Europeans say that we are so open minded, but isn't it some sort of cover for the feeling of being more than others? Honestly, I don't know. Don't want to judge other countries, don't know how much they really know about the "mysterious" parts of the world, but it kind of made me understand why people are angry about a few things what the 'enlightened' part of the world is doing.....kind of being enlightened and that is why being sometimes narrow minded.

Don't want to go into politics and such, makes no sense. It is the time to enjoy Eid and the holidays :) Even if it is a very family oriented holiday (meaning that on the first day evening everyone is visiting family, so I'm left at home - time to sleep, hehe). But generally things are nice and I love the opportunity to rest a bit and just enjoy being in the country.

September - the bit boring side of Ramadan

2008-09-20T22:17:00.000+03:00

Written on the 19th of September

It's been a while since I wrote...my internet totally died at home and besides this I was somehow always forgeting that I can always write offline and then when I can go online I just need two minutes...but things are changing and in the weekend a slowed down lifestyle kind of help you realise these small things.

After the bit sidetracked introduction let's see what was happening during this week. Well, not much :P this is the first thing coming to my mind, but looking a bit deeper into memories I do find some interesting points. But this is also a pretty funny sign of getting used to things (also to Ramadan way of living). In itself it is something interesting to feel, just simply getting along in your normal life (what is now considered as normal).

One thing definitely worth to mention is Suhoor. It is the breakfast (meaning somewhere between 2-4:30 am :P) right before sunrise (the last point to eat and drink during the night).

Particularly 2 of these Suhoors (yeah, a usually story of waking up at 4 am, brainless to put something in your mouth). We went with a few guys to have Suhoor at Hashem. Hashem is a restaurant (actually 2, one of them in the downtown, and the new one closer to my place). Around a week ago we were just hanging our after Iftar (Dinner) and came the idea to have Suhoor together in Hashem, the downtown one. What you need to know about Hashem, that visiting (especially the one in downtown) is a cultural shock in itself. It is a very traditional restaurant, as far as I know the first restaurant in Amman....and it does look old and ruined :) It is taking a small street in downtown, Health inspectors from Europe would for sure totally freak out from having a look on it, but in reality the food is clean and is made in a clean way. And the food is just simply awesome. Not a big variety, as you can only get falafel with hummus or fool...and that is it :P But it does have the best taste in the city a special and cool one. But seeing around 100 people totally flooding even the street, full with table, engaged into conversation and totally alive in this very early hour. And it is just an atmosphere you can not really describe. You just simply need to feel it. And also it is different to be part of it when you are also fasting. It is just that feeling that you are not a tourist, you are as much the same as you can be (yeah, my skin and origin still will not and should not change). It is a remarkable experience. Something will be burned into my memories.

Besides this work is also going on...moving pretty ok, now that I have a bit of time not to be a simple accountant, but actually lead something. And this feeling is energizing me, coz I do feel I give direction and make things move, which is good. I don't really want to go into more details, not because it is not interesting, or not because I want to hide something, just simply it is a lot to tell and I don't think that daily work will be something to be remembered. I love doing my job, will stay like this (inshallah), but it should stay as my job :) (well another true sign of what next steps to be taken after this term).

For the next time I will try and figure out some interesting story, but that is also true that during Ramadan not many things are happening....it is becoming after a while boring, truly, might not be something nice to say, but it does become. I think people just get tired of fasting, it is draining you every day, make the whole month going veeery slow...and you just get stuck in the routine and wait the end of it, not because it is bad, but it is slow. And this is it, things will change, though I don't mind these things, it is 10 last days remaining, and it is not a counting back (well, honestly in a way it is). It is a good, or would say a great experience to have...just after a while boring.

But I'm pretty much looking forward to Eid, I'm just curious how things will change, because if I can manage everything while fasting how energized I will be with being back to the normal routine, so I just want the new things to come, I'm actually looking for changes, for the adventure :)

Oh, and I'm also going to Germany, to Karlsruhe to chair a conference, which I consider as a great honor to be invited as a chair for any kind of conference! it is something totally excited and also my team is very excited because of this, they want me to go as a Jordanian chair, not as a Hungarian, so they are already planning out my preparation, and I'm also building these kind of plans on what to do over there. So looking forward to it (though I don't know more details, than that I will be going in the end of October, beginning of november :P so will see what is going to happen :))

This is mostly all popping up to my mind. It became a bit random post, but whatsoever, if you fought through to this point then it means you found something in it (or just your simple peristance that by the end there must be something brought you till here :P )

2008-09-12T12:21:00.002+03:00

Hey....this article gives a piece of insight into Ramadan:

Here you find the full article:

http://www.jordantimes.com/?news=10702

And some paragraphs from it:

"AMMAN - While millions gather with their families at sunset for iftar this Ramadan, many citizens are left with few options when it comes time to break the daylong fast.

Their answer comes in the form of iftar tents, spread across the Kingdom, providing free meals for the underprivileged and the scores of taxi drivers, sanitation workers, grocers and even business professionals who are forced to work in the evening hours.

Some tents are hosted by members of the Royal family, such as Her Majesty Queen Rania’s Hal Hilalak tent for underprivileged children, while others are sponsored by municipalities and even embassies.

Others come under private sector corporate responsibility programmes, as major banks, telecommunication companies and even electronic stores erect tents and open their doors to the have-nots and passersby."

"Mohammad, a 27-year-old worker at the Sheikh Hazaa tent, said he doesn’t mind volunteering and sacrificing time with his family to feed the less fortunate.

“It feels nice to give back and help. This time last year, I was one of them,” he said, gesturing to the dozens of citizen lining up for a warm meal."

"With the long-awaited call to prayer, conversation comes to halt, as attention is drawn to plates of dates, cups of water, and bowels of rice, yoghurt and meat, leaving little time for words.

After a few minutes of eating, the tents come back to life, jokes and laughter echo through the tents and people move on to their dessert."

Ramadan streamline

2008-09-05T02:38:00.002+03:00

Yeah, and the next set of things regarding this whole fuss around Ramadan. The thing is that there is a lot to tell about this month. It is very complex, intense and definitely not easy to understand. That's why I'm gald I decided to experience it, way different approach, way different journey.

I promised to write about how people behave or change. Unfortunately I can not tell it is all bright, but summing up everything it is still mostly a positive change. The confusion around what is positive what is normal, what is not is probably coming from my understanding on what Ramadan means.

I was talking to people before and during this week so that I can understand a bit what is this month intending to tell us. Most of them told it is a month (besides the religious points) to feel close to poor people, who are starving mostly. For me it is then a challenge to maintain a kind of normal life while fasting. Though I don't always see this approach. The country slows down, people use Ramadan as an excuse of not doing their job (while I probably had one of my most productive week - I have the choice to totally focus on my work or focus on my stomach....work is easier :P ). And for a while I was thinking that the problem is with me, coz I thought that poor people starve, but still doing what needs to be done, so why should we act differently if we want to feel close to them. It turned out that it is not only me who thinks like this, a few people who I talked to thinks the same and I also found a very intersting article about it, here is the link to it:
http://www.jordantimes.com/?news=10515

The question is am I feeling close to the poor. Honestly I don't know, but this month teaches me to highly value the basics what I have...like the bottom of the Maslow pyramid, to value to have water to drink. And also there is this commonly used saying noone really takes into consideration: you are not rich because of money, but because of the people around you. And it is pretty weird, but this statement is very true. Why? the explanation is simple. When I was just writing down that I don't know if I feel close to the poor the thought came to my mind that I actually don't feel poor (well, I'm still not having much of money, despite the fact that since the last conference people started to call me Vice President of Money :P). And the next thought also came naturally (without any push), saying that I'm not poor (or rather not lost) coz I have a lot of people around who can help with a single SMS, or phone call...or just dropping me home after Eftar. And I think this is the very positive side of how people change during Ramadan.

Ramadan Kareem, meaning Generous Ramadan. In my first post about Ramadan I said that I don't really understand why Ramadan is Generous. But now I do. It is not the month, but the people because I just simply experienced that level of generousity I have never seen in my life, coz it is not just coming from one person, but when you feel it every corner, in every person. Just counting that I did not have Eftar so far alone, I always had more people around, being invited and I also feel the sense to invite people (and I actually did invite my team for Saturday) not for the sake of giving back, just the why not type of reasoning.
People open up and become closer to each other. You all share the pain and seeing that small sparkle in their eyes when they realize that I'm fasting with them changes a lot....you somehow become one of them, or they try to make you become one of them and integrate you in as many things as possible. It is a very powerful feeling and I don't really have the words to describe it, it is something which makes my experience uniqe, because this is something you truly can not get from books.

And Ramadan is also a pretty good month for reflection. It is only one week passed and I feel this mood all over the place. It is just easier to think and reflect, but I don't understand why. I don't really have to understand it, just use it wisely, it might be something not coming back, coz you are in this mood now together with many people, resulting in awesome discussions. Like today we had with a few friends (Wesam, Eyad, Sasha and for a part Abeer)...a very good and I believe deep dicussion about a lot of topics, which was just simply good to be part of and exchange views on them.

I truly wish everyone to experience Ramadan once, in an Arab country, to feel the whole spirit. My next post will be about Eftar and some specially Ramadan habits and I will keep writing about things, coz I believe I have a unique chance to spread the word even to that few people who are reading my posts, to at least attempt to pass something from a thing I did not understand and not many people understands who has not been part of it.

With full confidence:

Ramadan Kareem!

A foreigners stories during Ramadan, edition 2

2008-09-03T23:16:00.003+03:00

So again Ramadan Kareem to everyone (meaning generous Ramadan....so I have no idea why they are using it, but why not :P) even to our cosmopolitan Karuna :P
(yeah, I'm reading comments and I appreciate each one of them!!! So keep on commenting).

This week turned out to be passing muuuuch slower than usual weeks did in the past three months. But in terms of things to consider it's been a busy week. Fasting for the first day was actually horrible, I was only not whining in order not to loose face (as only foreigners complain and I also approached Ramadan as a way of integration). Eftar was actually a relief on the first day (Eftar or Ftur is the dinner during Ramadan...dinner or THE meal - and the time to drink water and everything your find, hehe, again).

So I honestly started to think on what to change. Quiting was not an option (anyone who knows me also knows why it was not an option....simply I'm too proud sometimes to give it up, or you can also call it stubborn :P). So I rather tried to remember some practices from my era of active sports (that around 12 years of Kung-Fu) on how to handle high physical pressure, drop of blood sugar, lack of liquid. Well, old practices are not bad practices, so they are still working. And also the principle: if your physical stress times change, change your routine - has helped me. So after the first day of battle I became more conscious of how to handle the situation and it is working, the last two days are totally ok...I'm not meaning awesome, but definitely giving me the chance to enjoy, not just survive Ramadan. I don't know how much time now I have to write the blog post, so for sure now I give you a snapshot of my daily routine what I developed...and if not now then in the next posts I will tell how is the experience and how people change during Ramadan (because they do change a looot!). So this is how a day looks like (focusing on keeping work productivity, work life balance, and healthy food and drinking :P ):

1. Waking up at 9:30 - not eating, but having a shower, which helps to wake up and handle the situation and start working at 10 am
2. Finish work at 4 pm - meanwhile I have normally meetings and as any normal working day
3. Have a sleep from 4-6 pm - you are just simply getting tired, not necesseraly feeling bad...you just feel your brain slowing down
4. Eftar/Ftur - 7 pm - eat, as you did not eat the whole day (because you did not :P )
5. Work again from 9-11 or 12 pm - just to keep up the 8/9 hours working day (or if I skip it for a hang out or something)
6. Eat a breakfast type fo meal at midnight
7. Sleep from midnight till 4 am
8. 4 AM waking up to eat and drink, before sunrise....this is rather the usual dinner size meal, with around 1 liter of water pushed down my throat
9. Sleep from 5-9:30

So as you see my principles were not to give up life as it would be normal, just with different routine. And definitely keep drinking at least 2 liters or more a day (night) and also to eat 3 normal meals daily (nightly :P). With this it became truly manageable...and I'm actaully now complaining less than locals, and not because of hiding it :P

And how is it, not just the routine building, but how people change, how an Eftar look like? Let's leave topics for the next post (and ensure that I keep my audience waiting for the next post, hahhahaaaa).

Ramadan Kareem!

2008-09-01T04:21:00.002+03:00

Post written at 4 am, in the morning, on the first of September

So Ramadan has started....just right now. For me it started with an SMS from Oksana telling me to drink at least one liter of water (the first half a liter was easy...the secon half not, especially taking into account that some sort of food should also find place in my stomach at this very early hour).
To be pretty honest yet there is not much to write about Ramadan...will see after getting through the first week. For Sure it will be a unique experience. (meanwhile I hear the first prayer....tells me I don't know what exactly, but for sure meaning to eat faster if I want to have something in my stomach by the next one :P - but it is also amazing to hear the echo of this call for prayer, the city is half asleep, everyone in his/her home, but a bit alive to eat and drink - as in the next 12 hours it is forbidden for anyone fasting and highly discouraged to eat or drink in public to anyone else).
Ramadan (as I heard from the guys here) are about a few things, most of them fitting to my value set and way of thinking. They say that it is feeling close to the poor, by understanding what they are going through, it is also reconnecting yourself to your inside, and naturally to Allah. Well re-connecting (or connecting) to Allah is not really my way of approaching Ramadan as I am still not and never been religious, but the other two based on the stories are kind of making sense. Starving a bit for sure forces you to think about your own limits and actually how much you can stand. For Muslim people it might not be that powerful though, as they are "used to" having Ramadan, but as of myself it will be a true test of will power and self control (already pushing down this one liter of water needs a bit of will....and it is barely the beginning).

Also I'm pretty curious about Iftar (this is the "dinner" at the end of the day - after sunfall). We have been invited (with Sasha) to Oksana (or Abeer, but Oksana was faster :P) for the first Iftar. (being honest Oksana's Iftar as first Iftar is more attractive from the sense that she can help me as a foreigner, she fasted the first time last year). But it is also a month told not to be alone, will see, inshallah :P

I believe this is one of the advantages of living abroad...and adding up to be an AIESECer ever. Otherwise I don't think I would ever dare to fast. This is really the way when you can understand things. Like before this year I was thinking about Ramadan like a month when the Muslim world is kind of "out of service". And even if I would have seriously thought about it, it is already very not the same than talking to the guys and hearing what they think about Ramadan. The touch of it, the fact that it is happening around me and here in Jordan, with me makes it something way different than as it would be at any other corner of the world.....I shall see :)

Alsot the 1st of September is marking the first 3 months (wooo, already one quarter of a year :P ) passing by in my stay in Jordan. 10 more to go.
Considering the amount of things happening in these 3 months, only if it continues with less than half intensity, it will be a year which will lead me to no idea where exactly :P Seriously! I was thinking of a lot of things I want to see in myself being challenged and becoming stronger, or changing. And I'm already way ahead in the process.....very way ahead with things I have never expected. So I really don't know where it is ending up (if it ever ends :P)
Also in the last two weeks I kind of started to think about what is next after this term. It is not yet anything concrete as I have at least half a year more to decide what to do next, but the fact of getting this week 3 job offers made me think of it a bit. We will see, options are out there, I just need to pick my choice and go for it :P

Ok, it is time to go back to bed...wish me luck and power :P

29 Celsius....AT NIGHT!!!

2008-08-22T16:03:00.003+03:00

So I thought of writing a few lines regarding certain challenges with the environment and climate here. Many people says that it's so cool that I came to a hot place. Well they are right from one perspective...but also let's check out the challenging side of the situation.

The first one...sleeping. Have you every tried sleeping when at midnight the temprature is 29 Celsius? After a while it is pretty hard to figure out what clothes to get rid of. Especially if you are in a room where no air is moving usually...so by the end of the night you smallest problem will be that it stinks....but also the question might appear in your head: did I sleep at all. Though no challange remain unanswered...so we bought a fan, to have at least air moving in the room. It is nice, but the noise of the fan for a whole night is causing headache, so let's figure out a way to use it and not to get headache. And the solution: fixed fan, pushing air in a way where none of us is sleeping and this way the air is moving, our head staying fine :P

The other one is water. It is a critical question over here...there are no rivers in Jordan (or only small ones) and the water supply is very low...it is definitely a scarce resource (well, in the middle of a desert(half-desert it is not that surprising :P). So there is certain system how you can get water...and it is not a pipe system.

Each flat has a water tank (maximum 2 qubic meters - köbméter :P ) which is ideally getting filled twice a week. Depending on the area it is different when it gets filled, but in my area it is Sunday and Monday (yo not equally splitted). So on Monday you fight for the washing machine, which consumes a lot of water, so you do your laundry on Monday, as in the evening all water gets refilled. Also counting with having 4 people in one apartment you have individually 0,75 cubic meters of water a WEEK....for washing, shower, toilet, cooking, washing dishes. So you definitely do take care of water (actually with 4 people, 2 filling a week it is not that very hard to manage, you just need to take care when you do laundry, how you have shower and small things which consume water). Drinking water is separate from this supply, you can chose to have bottled water, or rather get bigger gallons (for referrence on costs: 1,5 liter of bottled water is 0,5 dinar..... 2 gallons - 40 liter of water - 2 JDs, I think it is obvious which option are we using :P ).

Well the situation is becoming crazy when the weather turns very hot (like in the last one month). It is one thing that usually people use more water (shower mainly, but also just to wash your face or such)....so you consume more. Or you want to consume more, because it also means that there is less water in the country, meaning that sometimes your tank gets filled only once a week!!! What does this mean? - if you are smart than your run out of water on Thursday....and have water back monday morning. If you are not smart, then you have water only for 2-3 days a week. Did you ever tried to have 'shower' from 1,5 liters of (drinking) water? Not the easiest assignement if you ask me.

So naturally this week we are out of water again. Resident consumption is low on water priority list....first agriculutre, then industry....then what is left.

It is not at all about complaining (though I'm not particulary happy about the situation)....it's something better to get used to. This issue will anyways will be way better from October-November, as you start consuming less water and rain starts to fall sometimes (durin summer there is NO rain here, not a single drop or rare rain...there is NO rain! )

The only thing I'm worried about is that Ramadan is here in 1,5 weeks. The weather is definitely not suited for fasting and not drinking anything the whole day and the possibility that I might not be able to have a simple shower at certain nights makes me scared (drinking water is not a problem - that you can always get enough for the night and the morning - you just need to find the right time). So yeah, fasting is definitely gonna be hard.

Though I have made my stand to join the guys in fasting. I also asked myself a few times whether I'm crazy or what...but it is not about the fact that I want a torture. Ok, in a way yes...but it is so nice to talk about Ramadan, here about the importance of it....bullshit. I came here to experience the culture and Ramadan is probably the toughest, nicest and most unique part of it. It is not necesseraly about the religion (before everyone gets scared: I'm not intending to become reliegious, haha), but it is in the culture, it is something normal over here to fast for a month (see, the definition of normal....). And I want to know and experience 'normal' life of it and I want to understand...if it is through a tough way, than it is through a tough way.

Anyways, just wanted to give a bit of insight into what does it mean to live in a developing country in the middle of a half desert, in an arab country. It is some sort of insight about things happening every day, not something outstanding (like now a huge event to write about), but are probably the most identical things about living here. Like water...it is always a critical topic, a critical point of life and in Hungary it is so very normal that you never have water shortage (only pipe breaks, and then everybody is just running a screaming around of not having water :) ).

And also a small new picture go uploaded (and shared in this corner), which many of you asked for - I don't really now how to write down the name of the scarf, so I'm rather not attempting it :P

Nothing extraordinary...and that is extraordinary

2008-08-17T13:23:00.004+03:00

Originally created on the 15th of August

So the thing is I consider my last week as nothing extraordinary would be happening...and probably that is the extraordinary part, as many things did happen throughout this week, but it did not seem so much new (ok, there were stuff still new, but not the full impression of I have no clue about anything :P ).

What am I talking about...during this week I have been downtown buying shoes and presents, been on a dinner invitation, my MCP flew away for International Congress in Brazil, went to cinema just accidentaly and ended up having Shawrma with friends in Abdoun, got my blood test for residency done...and naturally all the work where I finally feel that I'm back to my usual efficiency.
So as you see it was again a week full with things, but it is not anymore about everything new, it's about 'usual' life in a country where I really start to feel like being home.

It was a tough month though, I was not expecting the schock to come this early, but I was prepared. And I don't know if I'm over it...throughout the year it will for sure come back, I'm just not sure wether I'm done with it for a while or this current state is just a minute above the surface to breath, and then dive back again. Although I managed to maintain a good mood (not talking about being sad if there is a problem, but not feeling continuous frustration and tension). It does take attention to maintain it, and probably this is the year which really makes me understand the real importance of work-life balance. Without a life I would just die. Life is not all about hang outs, it's also to have 2 times one hour to cook, 1 hour to clean up around...and naturally fun, for sure...but all the aspects of living, besides doing my job.

So, yeah, in general I'm in my usual three month end reflection mood...output is not yet ready :P Maybe the next blogpost, I can never know. But as a summary I'm doing great...and I honestly feel great, calm and generally normal (which is a different normal than 3 months ago :P )

And anyone coming to Jordan let me know;)

The Rollercoaster...or the tipping point?

2008-08-08T20:29:00.005+03:00

This week is probably best described as a roller coaster. I could never know if in the next minute (or rather second) I will be up or down. Though what is important is that it finally ends I think with a pretty positive note and outlook for the next few weeks, but let's go through everything.

But first what is really causing (or caused) this highly visible roller coaster....I think most of you know me as a stable person and even when I'm not it is usually not very visible, not like now. Well, I think it is not just one thing causing it. Just when the glass is full even one drop makes it flow out. But fortunatelly I do feel it is over and I'm back as usual (which is pretty hard to define already how I'm when I'm usual :P). Work, a different culture, personal issues, being a bit short on budget (and of course playing my stubborn way of making it on my own :P ), a few "funny" interns and a pretty long list. Above all the whole MC had high pressure, also we are in the phase of challenging, so at the beginning of the week we were rather killing each other, then support....but this also turned.

Thinking through the few lines I have just thought of changing title to this post. I do end my week with totally different feelings than what I have started. This turn is definitely a positive one and I do think that it has it's effect not just for this week. So let's rather consider this week as a tipping point, it's more positive and describes the situation way better. (and now it is coming to my mind that there is a book with this name, so I will get it and read it :P)

My birthday...Sunday....well started like an ok working day, turned to be a terrible working day and ended up as an AWESOME night and evening! Let's not talk about why the working part was crap...problems are not yet solved, but finally under controll and I feel way stronger to face...so challenges will always exist, but this is why am here.

But the awesome part was a wedding. Lana, my MCP, invited me (actually the whole team, but finally only I ended up going....everyone else can regret it!) for her cousins wedding. Though it was not the most traditional wedding ever, but still...hmm, very hard to describe...an experience. First we went to the bride's house to great her, wait for the groom and then go to the hotel where the actual wedding took place. And also to give you a perspective on weddings here: it was a smaller one with only 300 guests :P In Hungary it would be the wedding of the year haha! I felt a bit strange in the house, not really finding my place in the family (why I should have been comfortable? This was not my purpose...), but it was a very warm feeling when 2 days later Lana told me that the mum of the bride was happy to see me in the house and showing interest in them...definitely a nice remark!
The photos from the wedding are uploaded...unfortunately I ran low on battery :( And a collage here.

Then started the actual wedding. I don't want to write down each and every detail, if you are interested catch me sometimes on Gtalk or Skype :P But a few things do deserve to be placed here. So at the beginning I did feel strange...to be exact like an alien, just landed on Earth and partially put into the zoo in the cage to check it out. As I was not a member of the family noone knew me obviously, so sometimes I did raise a bit of interest and throughout the whole wedding I think I was a topic at the table (if you here your name...Akos is a pretty unusual name/word here...popping up each second minute from different parts of the table, then you become suspicious :P). And especially when dancing started...woooo, it is veeeery different and it was strange at the beginning (and I was pretty shy, especially at the beginning :s). It is not just a different rythm, but also totally different culture of moves, so it took me time even to go there, then more time to try, then feeling like a fool...and then a bit more time not to care about being seen as a fool :P And this is when the feeling turned around. I did not become a better dancer, but definitely got accepted as part of the event, as a guest there. And I did have an AWESOME evening...thanks a million Lana and your family for inviting and hosting me there!

I think you see that a lot happened during this week....as it was only the beginning of the week we are over, not mentioning all the thoughts and feelings stuck inside (so prepare for a long post, sorry for everybody, but I have to write it out, if you don't feel like reading all of it, don't feel bad to skip it :) )

So yeah, back to work....back to being frustrated, up and down and rather that feeling that we do face a serious challenge and I could not do anything with it. This feeling just simply drove me mad, I'm a person who accomplishes and does things and not someone creating philosophies and not the best ever to wait for something to happen. So just simply running crazy, with a huge amount of topics to agree on, debate, argue about. So we sat, to discuss work issues with the team...at the end it was already a bit better, but far not offering the real solution (yeah, to the exact work, how to manage or challenges, etc. it did give answer....but not to the state of our souls, relations and feelings).
But we set down on Wednesday again....and this is definitely the tipping point in the week (hope in the year). The first real deep and open team discussion, to pull out everything what was inside. And not just a discussion. We went to a hang out...did not do mutch, just set on the stairs at Raindow street (actually with a nice view) and simply chatting. Finally not about work. I know I'm someone who is the hardest to distract from work if there is something serious going on, but this time it was needed, it was loved, it was just GREAT, not to talk about work, but still feeling that we are all on the same boat, we are all one together and slowly opening up. And then we just went and had icecream (yammy...I'm not a big icecream fan, but this one was very good). So actually not really doing anything remarkable, but still I have the feeling (and I'm pretty convinced about it) that this is a turning point in the team. Kind of the same feeling with my first EB team in November, 2005...when we stood up from the table knowing we are one team and nothing is going to change this.
And probably one of the toughest MC teams in MENA this year...with a very hard start up, getting trained on them and feeling to be imune to new challenges, feeling to be able to face anything which comes (and might not solve them, but still face)

And I think it might turn out that it is not just a turning point in the team, but might be in my whole experience (as Szaki here in Jordan). I'm not sure about it, but I feel and it should anyway come once, inshallah. I just did not felt comfortable here in the last two weeks, I was continously down, not just work, but personalwise too. I felt confused of who I am and where I'm heading. I still don't think that I do have a tangible answer, but I do feel this is right, what is happening, this is the experience I came here for and this is the change I wanted to see on myself, which is all on it's way. I can not phrase it....and I arrived to the point that I don't want to phrase it just let it go, with it's full power and be in the process. And here comes to my mind The Alcimist, the travelling book of EB 05/06 (yeah, I finished it, Maso send me the address to post it :P )...saying that it is not the treasure at the end of the road what is worth, but the journey itself is the treasure, and I know it is right (though I still need an end goal to pull me, I can not resist my nature :P )

What did really change that I write all these things. My day today really describes it. Just to give a snapshot on the situation: I'm sick and in the last 2 days we have no water in the house and won't have in the next two days. So, yeah, it doesn't seems like being great....it is not about that. Usualy when someone is sick just feels really alone. I don't have now people jumping around me, taking seriously care of my health, but I still did not feel alone or lost today. The random pop-up of Lana today a quick invitation for lunch changed my full day. I was hoping that her family will not make a big fuss around the lunch (thank god they did not :P ), but it was just very nice to sit with them, eat with them, chat with them, even if Lana's mum is not very good in English (though definitely way better than I'm in Arabic :P )....but small things do matter. A small smile from Lana's mum when I could suffer a few Arab words out of my mouth, not planning anything after the lunch, but ending up watching a movie and having a chat with Dana. It seems not much, but for me it does mean a lot, thank you!
And then going home....knowing where I am (actually I'm really improving with directions in the city, it was always one of my strengths, so it helps me out here) and feeling totally confident walking home (and knowing that whenever I get tired I can get a cab and guide it). Realizing that I'm passing by my favorit kebap place, so just jumping in and getting a sandwich (which was my dinner...and enough even for me...and only for half dinar - around 120 HUF - I don't even know how they get the incredients for this price) and just generally knowing my place, knowing my way and feeling confident in where I am (not just location wise).
Also with the water...yeah it is still a crappy situation, but not this is my first thought about it. The first things coming to my mind are ways to manage, ways to change next time not to loose water....and no feeling of depression or frustration around it (though of course I'm not happy, but crying does not help me out).
The feeling of getting settled in Amman, in Jordan. Can not describe it better, though I think these few rows do give a snapshot of it.

This post became pretty long (as I predicted), but I hope you enjoyed. I tried to be as honest as I could, though my writing skills are not the highest, but must be enough (I don't really have any other choice :P ). And this has been an incredible week. A week for what it was worth coming here and a week which will hopefully repeats itself through the course of our term!

Yalla, it is time to rock (and get rid of my cold...haha)

Two months notice

2008-08-01T22:31:00.002+03:00

I just recognized today that it is actually again a turn of month about my arrival (yeah, it is not that hard as I arrived on the 1st of June, so each new month is a new month for me too :P). But still it is rather an accidental discovery, not to let this day slip by without any notice.

Time is passing by pretty fast, sometimes I wish to slow it down, sometimes to speed it up :P And actually this kind of controversial speaking pretty much describes my last two weeks...it's been a roller-coaster, especially emotionally. I don't really know most of the time what freaks me out, but I think the right answer is I don't know. I really don't know how to react, how to decide in quickly arising situations. What was natural in Hungary is not the same here and it is still a learning process, getting better day-by-day, but sometimes it is just fast, you don't have time to think and act as you learnt. I'm kind of letting my instincts lead me, let myself rahter feel than understand (consciously) why people behave how they do...and just let myself do what I feel right. This method seems to help, seems to speed up integration, seems to help me really listen (not just with my ears, but with all my senses). Probably this is another learning anyone can get from living abroad...to notice that there is much more going on around us then we actually realize, because we are in reality not open to absorb all of the information what is right at the corner....although it might give answer to many questions....right now it does. I don't understand how, but it does make things easier and I rather feel than know my why, but let's see where it really leads.

Probably this post became fairly philosophical, meaning that half of you who arrived to read this line is already bored as it is not full with events and such....but I think this is the rather deep part of my little stay over here and probably will be more determining to my future than the trips to Dead Sea or such. At least I have left this remark....left my current mood here :P

Weekly happenings

2008-07-25T13:53:00.006+03:00

I could not really figure out a better name to this post...a lot of things happened which would be nice to write about, although I consider this week to be a slow and calm one (maybe I can write about more things, because I had time to digest...:P)

It's been a week of ups and downs, mostly work related roller coasting, but still ending on a good final notice. It has been a busy week, though now not full with business meetings (which made it a bit more relaxed and revealed the feeling of running around crazy). This up and down also made me think of the right choice I have made and how much I do know myself. The good thing is that it reinforced me on many ways, but also reinforced those things which I want to change. This week with all it's good and bad made me realize that I'm on the right track, has made the right choice.

But life is not just about work. And I think nowadays I have a more healthy balance in this perspective than I have in the last 2-3 years. Which is good, because the thing is that I'm not less productive, but still have a life, have something more than just work (though mostly hanging out with AIESECers...but sometimes meeting up with other random people). I have a small list of this week's proof about life, which is worth sharing.

MC team hangout...actually the first one, actually first getting scared of it (I promised to cook Gulyás :P) and actually succeeding in cooking it and having one of the most relaxing afternoons since I'm here. (pictures uploaded!) What is interesting in the whole story is that you can never know how you represent your origins. Before leaving Hungary I would never think of being an ambassador of my country by cooking, but this is what actually happened (ok, I needed to assure myself on a few steps the day before with mum...thanks...but still it was my own "masterpiece"). And it was good to see that my team enjoyed it (or they were good enough in acting it :P). Then the watching movie and falling asleep sometimes with a great bunch of icecream in front of us...just simply not really doing much, being together, enjoying the time. And a few of us then went bowling, but that was already different, but still fun. So this is one of the happening I wanted to share.

The other occasion was a Reception Party organized by LC Amman. This was also an interesting event. Not because of reception, or stuff, but I could have really great conversation with people, getting to know to be considered as good dancer in AIESEC Jordan (it's good they notice something I have no clue about :P Trying to dance something you hae never done seems to make you a good dancer....good learning point for the day :)). I had an amazing discussion with one of the freshly selected team leaders about religion. It is something of a great feeling to see the spark in their eyes when they can discuss about the Quran (I'm not saying to defend....discuss, and that is the great thing). The spark of true belief...and again to kill one more stereotype: we all believe in something with the same passion, believe in a Christian God, believe in our own capabilities. This belief is nothing more, less, better or worse than anything a usual person belives in, whether it is a religion, a higher power or simply a few important values. And these are the discussion, which are actually bringing the culture closer, helping you to understand how people feel about their life, which many people judge without really knowing it. It is again a fragment of a bunch of thougths, but definitely somethin worth thinking about ;)

And the last thing happening this week was probably one of the most spontanous hangouts in my life...one SMS and in 10 minutes I was out to the city. I was in the mood of going out, better to say I was in the mood celebration (just a few hours ago we managed to raise a fully equiped office for LC Irbid....before that facing ground breaking challenges with the audit, so I was really in the mood of let's have fun). This is a kind of achivement for what in Hungary we would say, let's go and have a tremendous party...it is not that applicable here, so it was just a very random hangout. And the fact of not just simply accepting the randomness of it, but actually enjoying is again a sign of changes which I don't really feel, only notice sometimes...it's fun to play this game with myself...it's time to go to eat. happy reading for this long post!

Trip to Dead Sea

2008-07-18T14:49:00.007+03:00

Ok, so a snapshot of last week....Dead Sea and sunset :)

We decided that on the weekend ( I don't really remember whether it was Friday or Saturday :P) we go to the Dead Sea to watch the sunset. Well, it as again an amazing way to relax and just totally leave the world behind :)

Already the trip itself has been wonderful, with a truly amazing landscape. And it is said to be just the beginning so I will have to go to Wadi Rum to check out the real desert, how it feels like, how it looks like. But even from the car it all looked very nice. And it was also great to be with the team together...I think this was the first trip when we went really together, so it was a nice feeling to be with them...but this week we are planning a very separate hangout (where I will cook, hopefully not burn, Gulyás for them :P)

And then we also arrived...almost a bit late, but inshallah effect will always stay as I noticed :) Though we were still on time to have an amazing view for the sunset. And again, the feeling of getting rid of expectations and just having fun, rather relaxing made this evening extra special. When really the only thing you need to take care of is to have fun, enjoy your time and yourself, in an undesribable environment, smoking sisha, (trying) to dance some Arabic folk dance, sipping tea....and the sole chance that if you wanted to be silent and just wach out of your head, then you could do that.

Actually in the last week I need more and more time to run, to walk at least and just watch out of my head. I think it is the time to really adapt, to really be part of Jordan and really start to become Jordanian. Yet it was I think just the surface and now comes the real integration into life here. It's been indicated by small changes in behavior, working style, what and how I'm using words (like I'm calling Hungary Hungary...not home...it brings sometimes the feeling of being "homeless", Jordan is not yet, Hungary is not any more my home, so where exactly do I belong). The thing is that probably it is easier to dive into a reflection mood after a tough week. But the other what is important that I don't feel depressed because of this (yometimes frustrated, yeah). I'm just a bit more moody than I used to be and feeling each small change I'm going through, but can not really summarize or speak out.

It is a great experience, not necesseraly easy, but great. I can just encourage everyone to take on this thing...and I'm pretty much grateful to have my team arond me, even if they don't know how much they help each day, but they do help a lot :) So the last picture is for them here :)

Oh, and anyway I uploaded the pictures from the Dead Sea trip, you can check them out!

Photos on new location

2008-07-11T21:10:00.002+03:00

Hey!

Just to inform everybody, I moved my pictures to picase webalbums, as my internet connection is worse than expected :)
So the photos from now on will be found here:
http://picasaweb.google.com/akos.szakaly

And I have uploaded some new ones, the old album is still at the old place, but will be moved as well ;)

Chill out

2008-07-09T21:42:00.002+03:00

Ok, so I do not usually tend to write a lot about how I'm chilling out (yaay, my workaholic, competitive attitude :)), but I must say that this hang out worth a few lines.

I already noticed that here people know how to stop, they do run crazy during the days, sometimes I feel that I run brainless, but then they are really able to slow down and stop. Well, based on last nights experience stop is full stop here, an amazing full stop. The very weird thing that after this full stop it is much more easy to pick up the crazy daily speed, so I'm kind of understanding and feeling the flow of life...or at least for a while I do.

So we went to hang out in the downtown of Amman. You should not imagine the downtown as in Budapest, meaning it is far not the fanciest place on earth, but it is very authentic and you do feel the culture dumping through the streets. So we went to have dinner first (as usual I finished half a chicken on my own :P) and then went buyong DVD movies. First I was kind of suspicious, as I did not have that much money, that why to go and buy such stuff....but then the first schock: here a DVD is 1 JD (or if you buy more then it is even less...1 JD is about 0,9 Euro). So, woooo, I have know movies to watch :)

But this was not even the best part...besides going crazy funny and trying baby sunglasses and stupid hats we went to a place called Jafra. It is pretty hard to describe it, but first, before entering it is scary....a veery old building, you just can not decide to run, cry or run crying when you see the stairs. But then you enter and a swing of realy arab feeling simply hits you and makes you feel amazed, although you don't know that it is not all! From the inside the furniture and everything is very much reflecting the culture, but in the same time it is a very modern place with wireless internet, waiter submitting orders through PDA and such.
And you just sit down and order argila - sisha (or you trust in your Jordanian team mate - thanks Abeer!) and then comes the real fun. Besides laughing on each other and on yourself (we have been with interns together) that how you can not smoke shisha you just feel releived. Pretty hard to describe the atmosphere, but everything is easy, smooth flowing and relaxed, somehow you really feel that the world stops....never ever before had this feeling, but now I simply love it and I know that I will need it more during this year and hopefully my whole life :) Time stops, you smoke, chat, drink (water) and just breathe...and that's it! I think I did not feel this much relaxed in the last years, simply amazing!
So I belive people here know how to stop...and this is definitely one thing I want to learn from Jordanians, it is a true national talent! You must come and try it, you can not really feel it when you read it...you might just nodd, that 'yeah, very true'...very true but not the same as to feel it!

The other weird thing is a sign of getting settled in Jordan. In the last week two locals asked me for directions (and finding printing place) and we had a ride to Irbid on bus and just figuring out that I was the only one who have ever went by bus to Irbid before was a funny feeling. I'm proud of having these moments, although I still feel weird, so I have to work further on getting settled and feeling comfortable here in Jordan, but these are definitely cool signs.

Also at work many things are happening, though I don't want to write a lot about it. I enjoy what I'm doing still, I have loooot to do, but i'm energized (even if I'm sleepy or sleepless :P), but it is cool to be here. I had a deep point last week and I think Oksana pretty well pointed out what I need: relax and give time to yourself to define what is Jordan for you...thanks for the advice, it worked! So, now I'm up and back again, hoping to never get down to that level of frustration what I had last week :) I'm moving on, yella!

One month notice

2008-07-01T00:39:00.001+03:00

Today I was thinking that actually a full month has passed since I have left Hungary, home. I can not say yet that I found a new home, I'm recently changing location anyway, in terms of flat where I will live (and I'm hoping that the new place will be as cool as the first one was...though it looks cool :))

By the Way, pictures are uploaded to the site, just check them out, there are quite many new especially from the last conference.

A lot of things happened in this one month, and I guess in the last week I had someone to give me a good contrast of what has changed and how I'm getting used to things. Our team became complete on the 22nd of July, so Sasha arrived from Russia. The very funny and strange thing was that as we lived for this one week in the same apartment I was helping her getting around. Things like getting a phone card, where is the shop (how bread looks like, hehe), how to deal with taxi drivers (basic level), how to cross and all those things which I have been previously writing about. And it is just simply a strange feeling that after 3 weeks I was able to show things! If someone would have told me this at the beginning for sure I would have laughed at him/her, I felt that much as a stranger! Though I'm still not confident with everything, especially as we are moving now, so again I will need to rediscover shops and stuff, settle in to the new place and all these things, but it is improving, I'm getting along in the city much better then I did at the beginning. Also to get to Irbid after the second time it became kind of normal...bus station then it is not hard to find the bus itself :) So it is just the funny situation that I'm getting used to things, though I still have a full year ahead. It is a good and strange feeling in the same time.

Also I had my first conference here in Jordan. After having so many in Hungary it was nice to see and lead something really different. I'm not meaning it was easy, here a different style is needed, things are working differently, but they were out and a conference is conference, gives a lot of spirit here too. Also it was my first event to manage where we involved externals, running legislation, and all these stuff. It was a good feeling to be there.

Another thing I have also noticed: if you dive fast, you feel the pressure earlier. As I feel it is true for a culture too. I'm not meaning that I have like something of a deep cultural shock, but I do recognize some of the symptoms (like many times I feel tension, though I have no clue why :P). It was coming faster than I expected, but the weirdest thing is not the timing, but in a way I do look forward to face the whole (I don't know I have gone nuts, or what is it behind), but I would not call my feeling to be fear or to be afraid of it, but in the same time of course I'm not happy with it...I think it is rather a bit of excitement, which can drive you down, or up...if you use the feeling in a smart way :)

All right, I can that is let's say ok as the summary of the month, I would have a lot to write about, but I don't want to bore anyone (and actually here it is already 1 am, and I'm not the best night alive guy).

Being discharged

2008-07-01T00:35:00.001+03:00

Originally created on the 30th of June

Ok, so just a quick notice from my side: by today midnight I'm (hopefully) discharged from my duties as MC in Hungary (and being in office officially in Jordan :)).
It is definitely an interesting feeling as I belive the last one year was something to remember. I'm not going to write about life changing and these kind of expereience, you can never know what really changes your life what does not, but that is for sure true that it was a packed year. Packed with things happening, packed with changes I do feel on myself. It is also pretty hard to sum it up into a few lines, so I'm not even attempting,for me it is enough that I feel the changes, even if I can not put them into words, and for sure I can just encourage everybody to take on such opportunity, as anything can happen but you still will have value out of it :)

And also a small remark to thank my Hungarian MC team for the last term. It might sound a cliche to thank them, but now I just feel that it fits here, so thank you guys :)

This blog deserves and update :P

2008-06-20T15:06:00.006+03:00

Thanks Karuna for reminding...I just got back from the shop, today's plan is not to do anything and cook :P

Well, it's also something strange from me that I don't want to do anything, and I'm just alone for the weekend in the house, my predecessor left, Oksana on part-time job (hiking...I would love such a part time job :)), but in the same time I'm now in a mood that it's better if nothing happens, I don't meet people and stuff. I did not became anti-social, far from that, just I need time when my brain is digesting that nearly three weeks behind me. Not like thinking deeply of what has happened, just let leave things as they should be, nothing extraordinary to happen (ok, buying 250 gramms of minced meat was kind of hard still to explain to the butcher, but I managed :P). I think this is the feeling when you want the world slow down...but I don't want it for long...just wait a bit until it accelerates again :P

So, just a brief outlook to the last 10 days (as I checked the blog it's been 10 days I wrote). They have been busy...I think the frequency of my updates do show that I was running arund crazy.

"It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory." ~W. Edwards Deming

I just found this quote, laughed a lot on it, but then I realized that this is what is happening with me in the last few weeks. Yeah, again a very smart saying, change is important, we all know, but where lies the real change, well not in structures, in really simple things.
I think the best example for this is todays shopping and cooking. I went to the shop with the desire of: I want salad, I want green, something light, but still filling. I think those who know my original eating habits (meat with meat, sidedish possibly meat) understands the way it describes changing on the ground level. And also that I want to cook, and not for the sake of saving money (ok, it's also on the list :) ), but just to enjoy the process of running in the kitchen for about an hour and then eat what you made (burnt :P)

Also my predecessor left. Many people would think that, wow, you are now left alone, it must be scary. It was, before it happened. And I think it is my nature that before things happen I'm afraid of them, but when they happen I'm up to them. It's been anyway strange for me in the last few days before Saba left that I'm relying on someone and not making my own decisions. In the last days it made me feel uncomfortable and strange...this is kind of realizing what happened in the last one year, I pretty much got used to be on my own and take the necessary risk (the calculated one, haha :) ). So in the same time it was scary to be left without my Slave Master and to be alone, and also gave me back my belief in independence and free choice.

Other things are also just happening. I needed to learn all arabic numbers (how they look like when you write them down), cause I'm preparing for financial audit and it's funny to sort out bills of you don't know what is on them :) So, it came and happened (I'm still not an expert, but improving).
Also the matter of turbulent environment is well described by one of the situations, just happened:
So we were preparing to present a grant proposal for 10.000 Euros, doesn't really matter what exactly it was about. So, we had Szaki type of preparation for two days, creating the ppt, feedbacking it with supporters from USAID/SABEQ, even simulating the presentation (my MCP, Lana should have done the AIESEC part, me the grant itself).
Well, we were going into the presentation with the belief that everything is set up (this is why we had to send the presentation in advance). Then it turns out, that the projector gave up and is not accepting the signal from the laptop any more (2 minutes ago it did :P). Fighting with the laptop and equipment, and suddenly the head of the grant committee said: ok, if this is not working, let's test how well you know your own grant without ppt and notes. Our supporters for the grant in shock of what is going to happen now....but it went well, we got the feedback of being well prepared...and we got the grant too, just to menion results too :)

So this was one of the good stories of the week, besides trying to understand financial arabic at the auditor (thanks Lana for helping out :)), having 2 interns coming to a new partner, being on the first networking event, leading working groups on deep changes....yaaaay, it's sooo much different then at home. Much more open and faster (well, 2 or 10 LCs also make a difference, but still).
Oh, yeah, and this week I had only phone assistance and did not get lost on my own :P The achievement of the week!!!

Also to mention things besides work...Yesterday we have been to a concert of Zade Dirani. To be fully honest I did not know who this guy is, I only knew that the concert is in the Roman Theater and it's for free with invitation (what we had). So this was the start up. I got a bit interested in this when I read about this guy promoting cooperation and peace in a way of merging musical traditions, having many nationalities in his orchestra.
After the concert I must say it was absolutely amazing! Not just the fact of seeing the old Roman Theater full (about 5000 people) and having the feeling of going back in time to the Roman ages, but really good music and an amazing atmosphere. For how stuffed the theater was, look at the picture ;) And it was also great to meet people not just in AIESEC environment, but something totally not work related, it was simply amazing to see them out of work, people can be so much different, they open up, you start to feel some kind of bond with them.

So, everything is happening around and I think this post is already a long one, though I just scratch the surface of all the things happening, or what I go through. But it's always good to write things down.

And I don't know when my next post will come. Next weekend we will have national conference, then I need to arrange my visa extension and also change flat as we are moving to a new one (oh, yeah, I nearly forgot that we will have an office finally , weeeeeee). I'm trying my best, but I need to find time somewhere I don't know.

And as I said this post is becoming long, so I'm finishing :)

A week ... just running away

2008-06-10T20:56:00.000+03:00

Oh, yeah, it is running away and I think it was not even the fastest one, I'm just getting back now to the usual jet plane an MC member is taking at work :)

So, the last week in nutshell (and just to be true to myself, in numbers): 3 Business meetings, 2 visits to Irbid (yeah, countryside rocks :P), 1st SG meeting (amazing!), 1st skype chat with mum :), dealing with 20 excell sheets (at least 5 in the same time), 1st time alone in a taxi (and not getting lost!), 1st time cooking absolutelly alone (and there was only a bit of smoke :P), meeting and meetings and more meetings to come like an endless flow (fun to have people around...it charges me up), about 200 e-mail sent, 1st ever rugby match visited (Yella Jordan!), having free weekend (yuhuuu, new discoveries in life!), 1st live chat with my MCP...and having less then 1 week until I will be alone to handle ER and Finance in Jordan!

Well, I guess you see that things are happening around me, mainly work, but June, July is usally like this. I hope when the full team will come together we can hang out a bit, see more from the city (yeah, that means more photos :P).
What I'm also glad about is that slowly I'm back to my usual productivity. Why it is cool? Besides being happy of being productive it also means that slowly I'm getting used to the environment...or at least I get used to have strange and new things around me every time...and that I learn not to get surprised on anything :) Slow process, but it is going on ;)

There is something interesting just reading back one line, about learning not to get surprised. It's in a way like taking things how they come, but on the other hand is making your way whatever is happening. It is easy to get lost in here (and I'm not meaning that where you go) just simply everytime something new and somthing different is coming and it is sometimes really hard to keep the speed. It is like a race or a competition with time and I just realized that if you go into deep surprise on everything new 2 things will happen: 1. Many other things you will just miss, so you won't understand things, 2. you just feel down that again, you were not fast enough to adjust course, method, style of speach (spelling...sorry Firas). It is a deadly intersting race though. It's not like you have the court, the curve and you just race with known people or oponents. It's like you want to get through fast in a jungle, and you don't know what you find under the next leaf, behind the next tree (or crazy taxi driver :P They are anyway fun :)). So welcome everyone in the big race...let's join yours and test your acceleration and try and impress everybody around you (if you can...the challenge is yours)

Ok, I think I'm getting philosophical, just simply this is my mood. Writing down things helps to digest (not your dinner :P), so I'm guessing you gonna get a few of such post in the next year...such as life.

And yeah I know the common request...more photos :)

Photos

2008-06-06T23:26:00.001+03:00

I hae uploaded a few photos to this website:
http://szakiinjordan.freeweb.hu/

It will be refreshed continuously, just my internet is not the best ever to upload photos :)

Traffic, shoping, moving...so things which supposed to be usual

2008-06-04T20:45:00.002+03:00

Ok, so I thought of sharing some exciting things happening with me in these days.

The very funny in these things is that they used to be usual activities, part of everybody's daily routine...but what we were always saying to new people: abroad you have to set up your new daily routine. And that is really true! It's not just to set this routine for yourself...but how to set anything in a country where that is the smallest thing, that you don't understand what is on the bus, or the wall....you don't even know if that is a graffiti or a word (well, graffiti here is toughly punished, so you can get that it's a word, but if anyone would ask me what does it say, I could not even tell how many letters I can see).

So the first thing: traffic and moving in the city. To all Budapest people hating BKV! BKV is something, modern, precise and organized! Enjoy it! Anyway I have noticed that back home people have the tendency of not recognizing the small cool things. Bitching about building the 4th Metro line? Here you are lucky if you see a bus! Which is anyway expensive, unpredictable and drops you off really far from everything. So people here rather use taxi (well, the pricing is also no the same...here a kilometer is about 25-50 HUF (see, one zero less!). Although still it seems for me that travelling will be the biggest cost here (a full price adult BKV monthly ticket would last here for like 2 weeks or half a month if you are lucky). It's also another funny challenge to know where you are going...and to tell it to someone who only speaks arabic....fun, I will learn by time :)

Other expereience: Shopping! First taks: recognize a shop! If that is done, then find out what you need, pray that they have something similar. Not like me buyoing bread. It took me three rounds in the shop, because here bread is something like small plates, and about 10-15 pieces makes up 1 kg. The taste though (it's of course different) is really good, I like it quite much (at home I would have never eaten this much bread :)). Especially with a good soup :). So I took a few rounds, finally also found bread. Then getting back home. Fine....which is the street? Here they all look sooo similar, so I was wondering around for half an hour (it was around 8 pm, so getting even dark :)). Then I wrote an SMS to Oksana (this time I still did not have a Jordanian phone), that which is our street. The funny thing that just when she replied, I found the street :) But from now on for sure I will know where I live :)

But anyway, now I have my phone, so if I get lost I will be able to find my way. But also now I know that from any part of the city I just drop into a taxi, and ask the guy to drive me to 2nd circle (we have 9 in Amman) and from there it's like 2 minutes on foot.

I know that sometimes daily struggling is not that much interesting. I just wanted to show that what people are talking about: that you loose reality on everyting, that's actually really true. And this is the fun part of it! Take this, because it teaches you to like what you have and appriciate every small success in life (like finding your home...or bread :P). And take this attitude home. It's not just about being smart and creative and being able later on to find your way in any environment, it's about an attitude, of aiming for more, but still enjoying what you already have!

And just a few words about work (yeah, I'm not just getting lost in the city, but also doing stuff :P). I was at LC Irbid (yeeeeey, the first LC to visit, out of two, but still! And again a countryside LC....AIESEC Hungary, now laughing :P). It was good to see an LC meeting, getting to know my first VP on my team (thanks Amal for the great chat!) and getting to know how things are working. And naturally transition is going on. Today I had finance...it's getting to be clear know, as I started to do it, not just talk, but for the first time General Ledgers, accounts receivable, etc. was kind of confusing. It's not only about not knowing how finance works in this country, but the point that so far I have learnt and done these thing in Hungarian! Though I was lucky to work in the MC, so that these words at least made sense, but connecting them to my accounting experience and knowledge is fun. And for the next week we already have some company meetings set, so I'm really getting into the work now. It's cool, because that connects me to people and kills the feeling of being stuck in a house with some internet.

So, just all based on these: it might sounds hard...and it is, but if you have a chance to live abroad on your own for a longer time, then just go ahead and do it. I'm here for 3 days and it already thought me stuff!

Arriving to Amman, Jordan

2008-06-02T19:07:00.002+03:00

Ok, so finally I put my feet on the field of Jordan I just landed a day ago in Amman, Queen Alia International Airport...but the way to here is a kind of funny (not that weird) story.

Well, then let it come from the beginning, so first thanks to those people who came to the airport in Budapest, or sent an SMS, called or stuff. Well after I boarded the plane (that also took a while) the fun part was coming. I was going by Royal Jordanian, so I could not understand anything. That's really true that you feel that they say much more things on their native language (this time arabic) than on English. Well this can sound like 'ok, and what's the deal?'. The deal is when an upset passanger started to make a debate around something which I did not understand at the beginning...but I could get that even though we are in delay we won't leave until the guy won't sit down. Later I could get what they are mostly talking about, and trust me it was something like a ridiculous detail, but made a whole plane waiting for half an hour. But then we could finally go:)

At the end of the flight there were not much clouds up in the air, so I really had a lovely view of the Middle East from 35.000 feets. Unfortunately my camera was not strong enough to get a good view, and later I had to switch it off because of the landing, but trust me that desert might seems uninhabited, but definitely it is something makes your brain move...I don't really know how it does, but because I was looking out of the window like 5 thoughts at a time were coming to me.

Ok, and then landing...fine keeping the half an hour delay...then going to the row for the visa (which took me another half an hour, but I must mention that they were done with about 100 people in this half an hour, so hats off). I started to feel bad, that Oksana and who knows who else is waiting for me for an hour know, but such as life. Then finally after two more luggage checks I could exit....and finding noone there. Ok, I said, go one more round, and one more...still noone. Then, though it is expensive, let's call Saba or Oksana....and then...a nice ladies sound in the phone started to speak arabic. The only word I could understand was 'shukran' meaning thank you. Very good, but what do you thank for. Luckily the voice continued in English, saying that I'm in the Orange Jo network, and because of new regulations I can not make calls....well this was the state of entering panic. But then immediatelly I started to say myself: will panic help you? No...so let's find out something else. I went a round to get a public phone. Of course I did not even find any, not to talk about the fact that I would have needed a phone card for that, which I had no idea where I wil get, but anyway that intended to be the next step, but as I could not find any public phones I desperatly needed C option. So I though of changing roles. Usually coming out from an airport you find people showing nice sheets of paper stating names...so I thought of 'let's have a sheet saying: AIESEC' anyone recognizes this name for sure will be able to help me, at least to give a call to Oksana, that I'm lost :) But suddenly Oksana and Abeer (my team mate) appeared before me starting to write the paper, explaining that they thought I will arrive to the other terminal and they were searching for me like for one hour. So it was fun to find each other, but after a bit of stress we managed. Based on this just one advice to anyone going abroad: don't panic, you have more alternatives then you have ever thought of and your creativity can reach levels you never knew existing :)

After the funny meeting everything went smoothly, getting into the car, having a small night sightseeing (and seeing not much) when driving to Oksana's and Saba's place where I will stay for 1 month. Arriving there, chatting, sending e-mails that I'm alive, etc. and then getting to bed about 1 am. Another fun thing was to realize that electronic plug points are similar to the Hungarian ones...but not fully the same. Why is it interesting? Because I could plug my shaver, battery charger, phone charger, but not my laptop...cool, but the problem is already fixed, I got an adapter for it for 500 filsz (about 120 HUF), so it's all right now:)

The next day, as it is a working day, we just entered about heavy transition with Saba (meanwhile getting adapter :P). We went to a caffe, where we could get wifi. Or at least she could, becuase mine just resisted to connect. I got a bit pissed off, as we have no office I got scared that then where I'm going to get internet, even a slow and bad one, but still connection to the world. Well, after 2 hours my wifi suddenly decided to work without any problems. I guess it also need time to adapt to the reality :P

Oh, and one more thing...I finally have stuff to do, which I'm happy about, though I still really feel disconnected from the flow of information, but it will change by time (hopefully).

Tomorrow I'm going to Irbid with Oksana and try to also make some pictures, so tha I can publish the first few photos :P

I guess this is it for today, have fun!

Final countdown

2008-05-29T14:52:00.002+03:00

It's only 3 days what is left for me to stay in Hungary, and then I board the plane and fly away for 13 month to the Middle East.

Reading that (if it would not be my blog) I would say that the person must be scared, mindless running all around in the city, but at least he must feel some sort of uncertanity.
Well, it's not like this. Surprising or not, I'm quite chilled currently and living my nearly usual days. Though there are signs that I'm leaving really soon (like my mum screaming each morning :P, or that my desk in the office is becoming totally empty), but I do not feel like being scared. It is strange especially if I take that into consideration what I have written just a few months ago...I'm not afraid....I want to go there, I'm clear that it won't be easy (or will be really for from being easy), but this is why I'm going there, so why the hell should I bit scared about what I have chosen as my destiny?

I just read in a book (I got from my first EB, thanks!) that life is about making your dreams reality....and an other memory is coming up to my mind, that we had a slogan with my second EB: Are you dreaming your life, or living your dreams?! Well, I'm not a dreamer type of person (reaaaalllyyy not :)), so in my words it would sound like: do what you decided to do, what you want to do! And in the last few years it is becoming part of my body, my life...and of course my thinking.

So in 3 days time again I will do what I want to do: go to Jordan for a year and work there as MCVP ER & Finance (haha, back to the roots :)).

So, Jordan, I'm ready, I'm coming!

Whatever

2008-05-05T17:22:00.004+03:00

To be honest I have now clue what kind of title to give to this post. I'm just trying to sum up what is inside and outside, what has happened in the last few weeks.

well, yeah, I'm still in Hungary, and it seems that it is not a part of the journey...but I just made up my mind to write down the preparation for that 1 year in Jordan, and I really start to feel that I was right.

Two weeks ago I was participating in a preparation seminar. It was anyway a really weird feeling, not just because me travelling, but having those people around me whom I have help throughout the last months (or years) whom I have been working with. This feeling is now just popping up again after coming home from Spring National Planning (AIESEC Hun conference)...there I really felt the spirit and atmosphere of good bye. All my team is somehow saying good bye to me, to each other, to a way of living.
And the most interesting thing that I'm not said. Ok...it was the first time after 5 years, that I cried, but it was not because of being sad, rather the feeling of pride. I just discover that this is one of the most positive feelings in life. Because it is not just about being proud of yourself, but of others who achieved something, being proud of having the next generation carrying on things and seeing that small bit of spark in their eyes, when all the current leaders of AIESEC in Hungary rounded up around them and started to sing good bye songs for them...that was a feeling, I'm still thrilling when putting these lines down.

But this is not the only thing. The whole feeling (or at least what was coming to me) was something like thank you and good luck...but see you soon back to Hungary :). Maybe it was just me, as I'm living in less than a month (weird to write it down). But I did sense these emotions in most of the people around me. It was good...or rather interesting, as I can not box it to good/bad or neutral. It gives energy (made me write this post) and the sense of " man, move on, it's your turn".

So I came home, slept (16 hours...it seems that I was tired a bit...but just a bit :P) and started to take the next steps. I'm searching for the documents I need to make up my full list of to do-s, but I'm doing that many things in the same time, that I'm always forgetting that one :P Anyway I have registered for getting my immunization shots (that costs hell a lot of money....but as my mum said: health first :P). and I'm still thinking to buy a bigger travelling bag, as the current one feels a bit small to the amount of stuff it would need to have inside....but the limit of 20 kgs is also kind of emberrassing, I don't really know (or rather feel) how much is that. And just reading few people's blog I have also the desire to carry some good 'kolbász' with myself....wooo, it's just coming to my mind that this week I'm going to Szeged!!! I must buy cool kolbász :P

A bit back to the preparation seminar: it was fun to see everything I need in one place. Meaning that it was rather a summer and not much of a new content, although it made me think. To be honest after the first day - that was the 'cultural' preparation part - I was a bit frustrated or confused. I had many things in mind that what are the difficulties I'm facing...or I will face when entering to a new culture. This was the mood how I went home and to be honest I was not fully convinced that I can manage all these challenges. Then an inner voice told me: man, think back when was the time you were successful! And that made me realize, that it is still not easy, but I'm not going there to have somehing easy and I did face huge challenges. So it helped me to make up my mind....and rather an attitude of "whatever is coming I will face it and either adapt or defeat it". I know I will have ups and downs...but that's all part of the game, so let's play :P

So again I'm damn excited of the upcoming things. May is going to be a crazy month...and the coming June for sure, although i have no real clue what is going to happen.
This is the other interesting thing in the last few months. Usually I'm that type of person who is bad in handling uncertanity and I had many fights with myself. But I just realized that if I can concentrate on those things which are driving me, then I can manage (not easily, but with a fair amount of energy). I coul find opportunity in all uncertain situations to make my own way, to get out what I want from it.

Ok...I guess it is kind of enough now, I'm running out of thoughts...but for sure more will come up, just not now, and anyway this post became more random than I'm usually (which anyway I don't mind :)

I have my flight ticket!!!

2008-04-04T16:52:00.002+03:00

Wow, it's been a long time since I have posted anything here. But something has happened worth mentioning!!!

I have finally my flight ticket! I'm travelling on the 1st of June to Jordan! And it is just interesting to see that it's only 2 months ahead. And again the strange mixture of feelings like excitement, being scared, curiosity, etc is coming up in my mind. It was also weird to see my mum fighting with her emotions...whether to be happy or disappointed that her son is going away probably for more than a year.

Another interesting moment from the past few weeks has happened at TEACH (AIESEC induction conference in Hungary). There was a session (I would rather call it a discussion) when we were split to groups and some people talked about their Exchange or Leadership experience. I was one of these people and it was a weird feeling. Being 22 and already talking about a lot of things I have lived through but many people could not experience. I'm not meaning that I have the same level of experience as a 50 years old CEO would have, but it is definitelly something interesting to feel that I have something behind me which is worth talking about and what is worth remembering and reflecting upon. I don't know if I could describe the feeling (or if it is possible to do that), but at least I tried:)

And i guess my posts are soon becoming more frequent as the date of departure is approaching and many things start to happen...
ok, it's time to get back to work:)

2008-02-15T00:47:00.000+02:00

It was just again a flesh of energy, which made me feel the excitement of travelling abroad and living ther and stuff.

But it was also about the fact that it's something really different from what I got used to. Recently I have filled a personality test (again:)) and as always it was talking about strenghts and stuff. But what I realized that it's so great I know my strengths and how to use them...but I know how to use them in Hungary. But the real test will be if I'm able to use them to survive in a totally different environment. And again it led me to the conclusion of questioning many things which I take nowadays granted.
I wouldn't say these big things like "rediscovering myself" and such. It is rather about my paradigms and my personality is highlighted from a different perspective.
What will come out of this? I don't know.
How will it look like? I don't know.
What will be the main issues I will face? I can just guess.
Who is gonna help me? It's just a slight hope that I will have someone helping me out.
And how will I change? We will see.

And whith all these uncertanity why I'm going there? Especially as I usually can not really stand such thing (but the funny thing is that now I'm energized by the fact of discovering new things:))....the best question:)

But the why is simple! I want it this way:)

The start up

2008-02-13T13:02:00.000+02:00

It's been a tough decision...Do I really want to take on the challenge to go for an MC term somewhere around the world, or what the hell to do with my life.

Well, the decision has been made, I have applied and I'm selected for the MC team of AIESEC in Jordan and so I created this space to capture this challenge and my memories.

I don't know if this space will be about the deep thoughts stuff or just wirting down what is going on out there with me, how I'm preparing, etc. But for sure I will need to get used to refresh and not to forget this blog, as I usually do:) (otherwise my mum would kill me because of not giving information and a sign of living:P)

Even the preparation has started...I started to read the Coran (I hope I spell it well). Just to get to know a bit about the arabic culture and the muslim religion...to help me to adapt faster (which definitelly will be the biggest challenge ever I have faced). We will see...and yeah this time uncertanity seems to be fun (I need to practice it:P).