Strange....or the opposite

So...I have been for long time delayed with a normal update...so here it comes, already with a controversial title, which actually holds the most important part of the story.

So usually when you go to a foreign country, you should feel very strange...basically for a longer time. But you need to feel alien and have the confusion of not understanding a single thing happening around you.
Well, this is the part which did not exactly happen to me, it was rather re-integration again, seeing things familiar, getting used to some details again.

And honestly speaking, this was one part of feeling strange, I felt the situation strange, coz I did not feel like a total alien. This is most probably just a stupid game of expectations, that when I go back to Hungary you expect to feel home pretty fast, and whatever other country you are in, you do have different expectations.

This is not to say i did not have a down period...actually the first 2 weeks. Getting away from my family, mum, sister and dad...and also leaving friends I feel connected to, was truly not easy. Rather on the opposite, it was way much harder than last time....I mean the first time I left. And then I'm also using now this paragraph to express, that I'm still missing all of them, and I really love them.....and this does not change, rather becomes stronger, with me leaving them again.

So I did have a down period....also that it is Ramadan now, so truly sloooooooooooow. To much freetime at the beginning.

And now comes the part which makes me realize that I'm not a stranger at all here. I still have a lot of 'idle' periods, which is totally normal at this part of the year, with Ramadan.....but things are just filling up :)
I could basically arrange everything what I would need to set up a normal life here. Yeah, am still ahead of moving once more, but then that flat will stay my home at least till the end of next June :P
I also have a bank account...finally :P, Have insurrance, a normal contract, a place to stay.
Also it seems I figured how I'm gonna learn arabic...and have my gym done too :P I will be teaching kung-fu to the brothers of a friend...in return I get my own training in arabic. Lovely, yeah? Looking forward to the first training - tomorrow, yalla :)
Also I do catch up with friends here......and I have time to cook, to just enjoy having a life, it is absolutely re-filling!

So as you can see things are lining up fast, and this is excellent....and why you might get a short response or slow with updates...two reasons :P I either write from work, where I can not really take my time to express that I do feel good :) Or that my mind is just again so full that things come and go....but full with different stuff, of arranging a decent life over here, fun, ya??
(this post also took some time to come alive, I have thoughts of it million times, but when I got the time to sit to the laptop....they were all hiding very well, up to now :D :D)

These cool things are stil weird though...finding my place and other being able to find the right "bracket" for me. Am I an intern, an ex-MC or just a random friend?
But this is also findings its own track now :)

And work, hmmm, excellleeeeent :) After 3 weeks of working my first product idea is already running for multiple approvals...and seems like I could figure something what has never been on this market before :P Hope its gonna work :) How the company finds me? Good question, end of next week I have a first month evaluation with my direct manager (who I must say is an outstanding boss, happy to have a very cool line manager :)), so am gonna get the details of how they feel, and that I also can tell how I feel :P
And it is really great to have work....I mean that it is a constant and important part of my life, but that it is not my entire life. Do not misinterpret me, I would never regret my last years, they made me who I am, but I did and still need this new way of life. And that this lifestyle is charging me up, getting my old energy and drive back, is totally endorsing the decisions now I have made. I must say that although I do miss still many things from my current life, I'm HAPPY and Balanced.....good :P

The weird picture was made on my welcome party over here, at a very nice, but super far place....this party was also part of that feeling I already wrote about with the confusion of "brackets". But it is fine, it is all getting sorted :)

We have also been out to downtown with interns, was just awesome having 8 people from 8 different countries, haha :) People looked a bit weird on this big group of totally mixed foreigners, but I guess this is something I'm getting used to again pretty fast.

Ok, I guess I more or less put down what I wanted....and I will try hard writing more regular updates and posts ;)

There and back again

So, this is to re-confirm that I'm indeed going back to Jordan, on an internship, hopefully rather on a career....well that one we will see.

But this post came alive, beacuse it is not all that simple! No, no point thinking that I changed my mind, or that I'm not happy with this opportunity....but I few things did hit me, a few things are just running around.

I feel .... excitement ... which everyone thinks is natural.... and fear....which most people can not get why.

If we look deeper into this whole situation, then you discover, such as I did, that it is ain't about just going back or hanging around. It is ain't about who do you miss who do you not miss. And last but not least, this fear is ain't about the choice I made.

Then what it is about? It is about that I made a choice!
Not which option I picked....I am totally sure the same fear would squeeze my stomach if I would stay in Hungary.
It is simply I guess that kind of a change of life I have been talking about in previous posts. And that it is all easy to say, that "yeah, I need to make the next step" - the obvious message what everyone can get, but to take the risk and do make a step. This is what this whole mix of feelings is about. I make the next step...and only time will be able to full judge if I did it right or wrong.

With this fear in my heart it is hard to take the critics and it is hard to say to any one that you are true, or you are false.

But getting back to me being natural, all this what I wrote is right, there is a fear of risk in my throat, but I have always been someone lead by conscious decisions. This is meaning that despite the feeling of I can not be sure of my choice, I made it and I'm committed to it.....and I'm sure of it.

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And with all this comes a different line of thought.

I had an intersting conversation with my sister...well, the topic is kind of AIESECy, but could give more if you read between the lines.

This was about whether our interns have talent or not, are they really outstanding individuals or not. Well, quality is always a question, but I think we miss the point.

Whatever great that person is, who decides to go to a basically unkown country, to an almost unknown company for a job described in 5 lines is undoubtedly an outstanding person.

Looking around of people at my age there is one very clear thing distinguishing such people (whether they are AIESEC members or anything else). And this is that they play at their own risk!

Easy to say, to make a choice, easy to say that people will help. Not easy at all. It seems like, because these people make this choice and stand firm to make it happen. Seems they have no doubts, no fears and are affraid of nothing, not even from the unknown.
Some of them more, some of them are less concerned on this matter, but they are the ones who either have less fear, or the ones who do not let themselves to be guided by their fears.
And what is this, if not a remarkable talent of any person possesing this?

The last point for me on the matter is that it is all inside of I guess most people.....but there are only a few who has the guts to use this, and that even if it looks like something small, we all need to start valueing small things in life, as they are the spice of anyones life.

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Ok, pretty phylosophical post, never mind :) It was just good to write it all down, so that I don't forget these things....who knows when the thrill of making such a choice will ever come back :D

The End...or a new start

This video is to kind of sum up my one year in Jordan. Nevertheless this blog is not yet done, I do belive after being home for 10 days, that re-integration is an equally fun part of an international experience, and I also think that it could be of a nice mirror to Hungary.

What comes after? We will see then ;) Enjoy the movie!

Feels like ages

It feels like ages since I got back from MENAXLDS. Not just because time flies so fast (what a true cliche), but also I think I faced a lot of things I did not beforehand and many things are just happening so rapidly.

It is only one month, actually even less :P And I'm already getting nostalgic on my stay in Egypt, hehe. Though I managed to get some new very cool pictures (thanks Firas :P), just one of them over here to showcase my "Jordanization". (I'm on the right....just to make it easier, lol)

But anyways, I remember the times I first go education on the AIESEC Experience....and that I always thought till now that Heading for The Future is the easiest stage :P Well, not really true....and now I also understand why we mark the start of it with the decision to leave, even when you are still in a current role. It is just a different mindset a different way of life.
It is visible in so simple things. I do have the same amount of work....but after 7 pm my brain just shuts down, I'm just hanging around and slowing down totally, until the point of being almost useless in work related things. Is it good? I don't think this is the right question......do I need to change it? No....then what? I need to change the way I work, how to concentrate, and I also need to figure what to do in that time what is given as extra (given as anyways I can not really use much of it for work, even if I would want to).

Also having this job hunt on me...well, the methods in Jordan are pretty unusual for me, only through network, so I noticed that if I want it to work out here I need to put my learnings from here on a test. If I want to come back to Jordan to work I need to get a job latest till the beginning of June :P. So I have one and a half month.
Even though it is 'just' a job it feels like there is much more behind it, coz I need to forget my old way of life and thinking....not forget what I learnt, but to use it in a different way, as I'm not any more applying for e.g.: VP External Relations, but like corporate account manager and such :P It is like a new continent to be entered, the expedition is pretty well equipped, but that is not enough, you still need to get through the passing, the sea storms and stuff safely and successfully....this is how it feels like :)

Also I'm afraid of going home. Not the reverse cultural shock or these kind of things....though obviously they are part of the game....but rather a new way of life, living again with family, losing a lot from that independence what I value here a lot (with all its benefits of being home it still does not seems like an easy transformation back? process).

My brain is randomly all around, I needed to fix up what I want, how I want it. By now I'm more or less clear...time to put things into action, time to take again a nice deal of risk and jump into something new......

I'm equiped, let's start the expedition :D

Satisfaction

There is a song called satisfaction, it just popped up in my mind when I tried to search for a 'normal' title for this post. Not really one of my favourites, but it randomly turned up inside.

Anyways it might be a very nice title for this piece of writing, representing all the million thoughts running up and down my brain.

It is midnight over here when am righting the beginning of this post, so my brain is half dead, but still running on this point.

Since coming back from MENAXLDS in Egypt it feels like being in a new era of my life. No, I'm not meaning that the conference changed my life or anything like this, but it did accelarate a few things already in my mind and brought to light a lot of them, so that I could chew on them these recent weeks.

And why is the title? Coz I think the main point what changed is what are the things satisfying me, what are the things am looking for or appreciating in my life.
Many people told me I don't have a balanced life, basically having my work as life. And I did not mind it at that point in time....and I think that time it was the balance. Well, not any more. I want something more in my life then just work....I want the life part of the story as well :P I want something new, some new experience (not saying that my AIESECy life could not bring new every day, but still I need something different).

I have sooo many plans with my non existing free time, it is hard even to list it down. It just started with going to the gym as a normal activity, but extended to be the "it would be sooo nice to do" list which I don't even have the idea when I will be able to reach to the end of it, if that would ever happen (knowing myself this is not a threat that I reach the end of the list :D something new would anyways pop up before :D)

Hard to put it into words this new concept. But I do value more free time, I do value more an honest friendship or a good chat, a nice movie....and I do want something different from my life and my relations which is kind of hard to express (especially in written format).

I know this post ended up to be pretty philosophical and rather (unusually) fluffy from me, but I just thought it is better to write, better to share, that might move things forward....inshallah as here we would say :)

Cairo, pyramids and differences

So, I want to dedicate this post to 2 major things - a bit of sightseeing in Cairo, and the experience of managing things on my own in this immense city; and the other one is a bit of a cultural insight.
(and the first round of pictures are uploaded to

Cairo...20 million people in one place, if you are fast on the highway it takes 4 hours to get around it. And total craze...I thought traffic is crazy in Jordan, well I feel safe back in Amman after the days of Cairo :P

Everyone talks about the legandary pyramids and they are indeed awesome! But did you know (besides people who have already been there) that the Gizah pyramids are actually part of the city? That it is surrounded on 2 sides by blocks of flat and to check out the sphinx you need to walk max 200 meters from the first fast food restaurant? That was an interesting experience :P
Also the camels....yeah, I finally got to ride a camel, but after this I can barely imagine how people survived full days on their backs....it is super inconvenient. So I shifted to horse, thinking that the horse is led by a dude and I just need to stay on the horse, well I was wrong. 2 minutes after shifting the guy gave me the lead, yeah do it alone (for this you need to know that I have no idea how to ride a horse, the last time I was on a horse was at least 10 years ago, it was a pony and it was led in a circle and I was screaming on top :D). But I managed to survive the experience, by the end I was pretty fine with the directions, well the speed controll was never working (I dunno if my horse or I was more stubborn on what we want :P).

It was also really an experience managing taxis in Cairo. You need to argue and bargain for each and every ride. There are taxi meters, but of course not in use. As foreigners we will usually the ones targeted to be ripped off, with not really high success :) we either always had argumentative people, with or without basic arabic knowledge or someone speaking arabic....usually the first version. But by the end of 3 days in Cairo we all knew the key words: numbers and NO.

But sticking to the sigthseeing: before the conference was the birthday of the Prophet...so we went to see the celebrations. Well, they were scary :) a looot of people just shouting and singing in a language I have no idea about. But this whole march did lead us to a beautiful place in Cairo, Khan Khalili - the market. Every kind of things you can imagine...and you can of course bargain for. I was amazed on the effect of knowing a few really basic things in arabic...prices got halfed in a matter of a second. I had very fast a bunch of other foreigners from the faci team hanging up to come bargain, though I don't think I'm the best in it :D

We have also seen the Mohammad Ali citadel and went to a religious garden (sorry I forgot the name) right above Islamic Cairo/the old city. Well the view was amazing from there and we could here the prayer for basically every corner of the city. And obviously we had like half an hour just for pictures....I felt like a japaneese tourist (or I can say a normal young arab guy put on every possible picture, it is insane how much time people can spend here with pictures).

And about the culture...well many people say that all arab countries are the same (though they usually have the picture of a Gulf country in mind). But it is sooooo not truueee, gosh, I never ever imagined such diversity in a region! Even when we say that Central Europe is diverse, it is nothing to the diversity and variety of MENA. Also the so many different ways of being muslim and still being a good muslim. Nevertheless there are common points everywhere, but I would never ever dare again boxing in this region into "arabs" or "muslims" it is just so surficial and has no value at all behind it. I have been facilitator on this conference, and as someone trying to lead people and pass on messages I can assure anyone who tries making one box out of the region: you will not succeed then. Besides knowing that they are all really different cultures it is also true that people are really proud and sensitive of their identity.

Sensitivity of identity, just something random popped up in my mind writing this line. 15th of March happened during the conference itself. I was never a big fan of national holidays, I always somehow felt they are rather a waste of time. But I was wrong again. I think I have never been that proud to wear the tricolor than this day. Feels interesting reflecting on this point. I was not shouting out loud to everybody, but I was proud to be the only hungarian and I was proud celebrating my national holiday.

I guess it is enough of random insights for today....though I have a lot just popping up in my mind. I though that this conference will not give me that much...but it was the best choice I made before heading for the future. Ok, back to work, yalla :P

MENAXLDS....the afterlife, edition 1

heeeeeeeeeey :P

Back and alive after MENAXLDS 2009 :) Sitting in Cairo airport, dead tired but in the same time recharged, sounds cool, ya?
As a very fast start up, here you find the introduction of the Faci team, so that you know with who I was working all this week:

MENAXLDS Faci introduction

View more presentations from alejalaiton.

There is a lot to write about, besides the conference I have been tavelling a bit, mostly seeing Cairo (and between Sharm el Sheikh and Cairo feeling like canned meat in a minivan for around 9 hours, yaaay).

As a faci team I truly had the pleasure to work in a team which was committed and reeeallly open. And I think this openness was some sort of a key, we moved forward understanding each others concepts fast, bonded with light speed. A true multicultural team (around 10 countries, 4 continents) as an amazing experience on how you can get the most out from diversity.

Learning and next steps....well, if I'm honest I do confess that I went for a holiday. Even though that many of us know that a conference is not about sleeping, but hard work especially as facilitator, but the change of atmosphere the flow of new things, ideas, meeting new people just makes it at the end a very refreshing journey. Of course I did learn from it and I belive it helped me reinforcing that I am making the right decisions with regards my future.

Pictures are being collected and very soon uploaded ;) Also a bit more structured and concrete post is to come, I just wanted to send the first message of me being alive.

Ehh, just one more fun thing for the Global Village - finally I have experienced the full traditional Jordanian outfit, see the picture just above :) But sooo much more pictures to come :P