Risk, culture…..endurance?

Prepare, a (very) long post J

Looking back on the last few weeks, especially this one I must say that there are two things testing me: handling risk and pressure, and handling the issues with being in a cross cultural role…..besides the usual question what is always popping up: Can I endure? Can I manage?

The answer for the question is, I still believe, yes. Even though, especially this week, I thought already a few times about the what if…and being honest 1,5 days of being unable to do my job properly (I guess people who worked with me know that it is a critical indicator, as I do my obligations even if I die carrying them out).

Also the obvious question was popping up: is there a limit….for I will I thought yes. For a while I thought that next week I’m packing and going home (sorry for shocking anybody, time to face). But I’m not going….and I still did not see the limit. It is being a critical period, my decision to stay is probably the highest risk I have ever taken in my life, and now we are not talking about job, or can I adopt…the risk is if I can make a living, maslow 1, if I can survive.

The very honest situation is that altogether I guess I got maximum 1,5 months of salary in the course of 5 months. Might be scary to hear….or someone might not agree that I’m writing it so publicly. Our bank account is not accessible, due to an audit which required to re-book a whole year, and due to a very slow procedure with governmental entities. I almost reached breaking point….almost J

My other funny story is the culture. Naturally I understand much more about the Jordanian culture, I can adapt much more, but my decision when I told that a cross cultural leadership role is different than just working somewhere else was right. I’m kind of facing a next round of cultural shocks. This is added up by the situation described above.

What is the problem? I think my way of handling my stress, so that I was mismanaging things with people. I could not see results on the critical area of the bank account, so I wanted results in all other areas….pushed hard, fought hard. Ending up my usual defense methodology: best defense is to charge. Adding up to be seen sometimes talking from the top, judging fast, being harsh, gaining power and control over things. Yeah, my usual way of handling stress and risk…which I thought I already learnt to eliminate (and I did…..just have never faced risk on this level J). All this attitude is exploding like a bomb and fires back in a culture, what is (overly –even for my level of affection) sensitive, totally built on personal relationships…and my competitive, very result oriented approach is kind of new (‘kind of’ is meaning I’m rather someone from the moon with this here :P). But this approach I don’t want to change, channel it or communicate it in a different way for sure, but next to my persistence these two features were making me manage things, making me excel in situations.

I was always saying there are ways to manage. Again we figured out ways to manage the situation. Even if we feel that the ministry procedure ends very soon, we have our plan for the what if not, to sort it out. I’m still not saying the situation is easier. But it is manageable and once it gets solved.

Besides this I’m very proud of what we are achieving, just to give you a snapshot in a few points of what the DA MC is about to do:

• We are in the doorstep of signing the biggest partnership in the history of AIESEC Jordan (the value is half of an annual operating budget
• In negotiation for another bigger scale annual partnership (fourth of the annual budget)
• We as MC are about to raise 10+ internships
• LC Amman running induction with 40 EP applicants, LC Irbid with 1 week of promotion collecting 20+ applications
• Brand audit with 150 surveys already collected
• An event coming up under the patronage of Her Majesty The Queen
• Competition running with AIESEC Vietnam to claim the title of the strongest expansion in the global network

I guess these things are speaking. Even in our life or death situation with the MC we are rolling. And we keep on rolling. And we all keep on moving…..and everything will be sorted. And probably we will become tougher then we would have ever thought :P