Feels like ages

It feels like ages since I got back from MENAXLDS. Not just because time flies so fast (what a true cliche), but also I think I faced a lot of things I did not beforehand and many things are just happening so rapidly.

It is only one month, actually even less :P And I'm already getting nostalgic on my stay in Egypt, hehe. Though I managed to get some new very cool pictures (thanks Firas :P), just one of them over here to showcase my "Jordanization". (I'm on the right....just to make it easier, lol)

But anyways, I remember the times I first go education on the AIESEC Experience....and that I always thought till now that Heading for The Future is the easiest stage :P Well, not really true....and now I also understand why we mark the start of it with the decision to leave, even when you are still in a current role. It is just a different mindset a different way of life.
It is visible in so simple things. I do have the same amount of work....but after 7 pm my brain just shuts down, I'm just hanging around and slowing down totally, until the point of being almost useless in work related things. Is it good? I don't think this is the right question......do I need to change it? No....then what? I need to change the way I work, how to concentrate, and I also need to figure what to do in that time what is given as extra (given as anyways I can not really use much of it for work, even if I would want to).

Also having this job hunt on me...well, the methods in Jordan are pretty unusual for me, only through network, so I noticed that if I want it to work out here I need to put my learnings from here on a test. If I want to come back to Jordan to work I need to get a job latest till the beginning of June :P. So I have one and a half month.
Even though it is 'just' a job it feels like there is much more behind it, coz I need to forget my old way of life and thinking....not forget what I learnt, but to use it in a different way, as I'm not any more applying for e.g.: VP External Relations, but like corporate account manager and such :P It is like a new continent to be entered, the expedition is pretty well equipped, but that is not enough, you still need to get through the passing, the sea storms and stuff safely and successfully....this is how it feels like :)

Also I'm afraid of going home. Not the reverse cultural shock or these kind of things....though obviously they are part of the game....but rather a new way of life, living again with family, losing a lot from that independence what I value here a lot (with all its benefits of being home it still does not seems like an easy transformation back? process).

My brain is randomly all around, I needed to fix up what I want, how I want it. By now I'm more or less clear...time to put things into action, time to take again a nice deal of risk and jump into something new......

I'm equiped, let's start the expedition :D

Satisfaction

There is a song called satisfaction, it just popped up in my mind when I tried to search for a 'normal' title for this post. Not really one of my favourites, but it randomly turned up inside.

Anyways it might be a very nice title for this piece of writing, representing all the million thoughts running up and down my brain.

It is midnight over here when am righting the beginning of this post, so my brain is half dead, but still running on this point.

Since coming back from MENAXLDS in Egypt it feels like being in a new era of my life. No, I'm not meaning that the conference changed my life or anything like this, but it did accelarate a few things already in my mind and brought to light a lot of them, so that I could chew on them these recent weeks.

And why is the title? Coz I think the main point what changed is what are the things satisfying me, what are the things am looking for or appreciating in my life.
Many people told me I don't have a balanced life, basically having my work as life. And I did not mind it at that point in time....and I think that time it was the balance. Well, not any more. I want something more in my life then just work....I want the life part of the story as well :P I want something new, some new experience (not saying that my AIESECy life could not bring new every day, but still I need something different).

I have sooo many plans with my non existing free time, it is hard even to list it down. It just started with going to the gym as a normal activity, but extended to be the "it would be sooo nice to do" list which I don't even have the idea when I will be able to reach to the end of it, if that would ever happen (knowing myself this is not a threat that I reach the end of the list :D something new would anyways pop up before :D)

Hard to put it into words this new concept. But I do value more free time, I do value more an honest friendship or a good chat, a nice movie....and I do want something different from my life and my relations which is kind of hard to express (especially in written format).

I know this post ended up to be pretty philosophical and rather (unusually) fluffy from me, but I just thought it is better to write, better to share, that might move things forward....inshallah as here we would say :)